Douglas
by enawaldstein
Summary: This is a sequel to Hollywood murder. Events take place about 2 weeks after Hollywood murder ends. Rated M for later chapters. I don't own MC, so please don't sue.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**This is a sequel to Hollywood murder. Douglas McGregor has set his eyes on a certain LAPD Captain. I'm not so sure where this is going but we'll definitely see more of the squad in later chapters and Lauren will have an appearance too, along with Jack's brother Bill Raydor. And since I wanted to write something about horses there will be horses too :-)! **

"So you mean date, as in date date?" Rusty asked. He eyed Sharon warily. She had been fidgety all day and when she asked for a talk this evening, he suspected it wasn't good. When she told him she had been asked out by Douglas McGregor and planned to go, he was surprised as well as relieved it had nothing to do with him being put into witness protection after all.

Sharon on the other hand had anticipated a more vivid reaction. She had expected Rusty to rant about a sudden change in his life, after all her dating someone would mean changes for him.

"I mean a real date Rusty", she said calmly.

"When?"

"I said I'd call back, because I wanted to tell you first. We have a deal."

He remembered asking for 30 days notice before a change and had learned that wasn't possible most of the time. "You aren't not going to wait 30 days, are you?"

"Rather not", she answered and smiled

"Okay. I could like, sleep at Taos when you go out with him. Kevin and me wanted to play GTA 4 for some time now", suggested.

"I haven't even discussed an actual day to meet him". She smiled at his eagerness to get her going out. It was probably just because he had a good excuse to play silly video games and even that made her happy because somewhere in there was still a kid.

Rusty raised a brow "Then call him", he said and got up "I need to read another chapter of 1984 so I'm in my room, night." With that he shuffled away to his room.

He didn't read but took out his cell and texted Lauren, who had returned from a conference in Europe last week.

_Guess who has a date?_

He got lucky. She replied immediately.

_You?_

_Nope. Sharon._

_Shut up! Who is it?_

_This McGregor guy._

_Oh my, let me know how things go._

_When are you back in LA?_

_Probably the week after this. I need to finish grading some term papers before I can leave. Stay safe!_

_You too_, he texted back and got out his book and started reading.

Meanwhile Sharon hesitated to call McGregor. He had sent her his private cell phone number. One of the cities richest and most powerful men wanted to go out with her. It should be less frightening and more flattering. She hadn't been on a real date in ages. Should she really? Well if even Rusty was ok with it, how could she not go and it would be a nice distraction from work. Since the closure of the Hollywood Ripper case they were swamped with work. Fresh cases almost every week, couldn't people stop killing each other for some time? On that thought she called. It rang only twice before he picked up.

"Sharon, have you made a decision?" he asked and she could hear him smile. It was almost enough to tell him off just to get that smirk he was certainly displaying off his face.

"Yes I did", she said.

"So? Will you have dinner with me."

"Yes."

"How about Friday night? I'm in town and as far as I know I'm free."

"I'll try. I can't promise, we caught a new case today."

"Oh but it's only Monday I'm sure you'll catch the criminal by Friday."

"You have a lot of trust in my team's abilities."

"I believe a team is always as good as its leader Sharon and I think you know how to catch a guy."

She laughed then.

His voice had this flirty undertone when he continued "See, if I could make you laugh my mission for tonight is accomplished. So how about Friday around 8 p.m.? May I pick you up?"

"Oh I'd rather come by your office?"

"Let's met at my hotel."

"Sound's good."

"See then."

They said good bye and ended the call.

The week passed by in blur. Rusty would spent the night at the Taos house but the new case kept her working late hours. A rather lengthy stake out had left her awake and at work for more than 24 hours by Friday evening and she called McGregor since they now had a suspect but she was sure she wouldn't be able to get a confession and make a deal before 8 p.m. so she called McGregor.

"I'm still busy here at work. I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it."

"Not at all or only by 8?" he asked.

"I have no idea when I'll be able to leave."

"But my hotel isn't that far from the station. Don't cancel Sharon. I was really looking forward to seeing you. I need to make some calls anyway so let's have dinner in my suite. We don't have to go out and we can order whenever you arrive."

"I can't promise Douglas. Right now our suspect isn't very talkative."

"Promise you'll try."

She sighed "Okay, I think I can do that."

"Good now go! Get his confession! See you later."

She shook her head. This man was certainly not used to get a no for an answer. She walked from her office to electronics and observed the interview Sanchez and Provenza were conducting.

"How far have they gotten?" she asked.

"They're just illustrating the evidence against our douchebag. He breaks a sweat and he hasn't asked for a lawyer yet. DDA Hobbs is coming in any minute if we're lucky we make it out of here by 9 p.m."

Sharon bristled unnerved. "Let's hope so."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! Sharon has dinner with Douglas and the dessert is different from what Sharon expected. Warning for explicit situations and language.**

It was exactly 9.34 p.m. when Sharon parked her car in the parking garage of Douglas hotel.

_What am I doing here?_ She asked herself when she touched up her makeup using the rearview mirror in an attempt to make it look more dinner date like and less 26 hours on duty. Of course on a day like this she had no spare clothes at her office and going home to change was simply no option, so she wore a boring black pencil skirt, a white blouse and her lavender colored suit jacket. At least she had opted for her favorite black Manolos. Walking into the lobby she still felt completely underdressed and hated the insecurity it brought up in her.

Hell there was no need to be nervous! He wanted to see you, she told herself in mind on her ride up in the elevator.

On the other hand when have you had your last decent date? When you have to think about it it's been too long, she continued her inner monologue when she exited the elevator. There was only a long hallway lit in warm light, laid out with a lush pastel grey carpet. The absence of the reassuring click of her heels almost made her turn and leave. When she reached the far white double door a security guard smiled at her and opened the door for her.

"Mr. McGregor is awaiting you ma'am."

"Thank you…" she took the time to read his name tag, "Mr. Simmons."

When the door closed behind her she had time to take in the surroundings. It was one of those huge suites held in a warm gray touched up by occasional spots of color, like the cushions on the couch or the inevitable modern painting, one of the ones you never quite knew what was on them. She made a few steps into the suite that was probably twice the size of her condo. She had time to think I should leave, when she heard footsteps approach from another part of the suite. Her eyes caught sight of McGregor rounding a fancy freestanding shelf made of glass and metal. His silvery hair was slightly ruffled and the sleeves of his crisp white shirt were rolled up, the jacket and tie absent. She just finished the once over, taking in the tailored black suit pants and Italian shoes when she realized there was an uncomfortable silence stretching between them.

"Having had a hard day too?" she asked, trying to hid her relief of not being underdressed after all.

"You bet", he answered, his deep blue eyes wandering down her silhouette taking in, what was there to see and Sharon felt her cheeks flushing. The intense look he gave her were enough to assume he didn't deem her black skirt boring. "I thought you wouldn't come", he said, finally returning his attention back to her eyes. Sharon noticed he really looked into her eyes. Normally people looked in your face but rarely looked directly on your eyes in normal conversations.

She smiled and fought back a yawn.

"They let us eat occasionally after 26 hours on duty. I didn't have time to change though."

He crossed over to her and offered her an arm "You look amazing. I'm glad you came."

She took his arm and allowed him to lead her to what seemed to be the living room and eating area of the suite. "I think we should eat first, since you're probably starving. I'll show you around later", he announced gesturing towards a candlelight-dinner-table. He served the meal himself. It was a three course dinner. First a salad, followed by tournedos with glazed vegetables and potatoes, finished by mousse au chocolate with orange flavor. They had spent the meal in relative silence.

Sharon looked up to find him watching her eat. "I'm sorry I'm just too exhausted to admire properly what you have done. It's delicious."

"I just ordered the food. So don't thank me, thank the chef."

She dabbed her lips with the napkin and leaned back "But you waited for me and you probably have better things to do with your time."

"I've reached a stage in my life where I can choose what to do with my time and I find that waiting for you was quite rewarding, since I have you here now."

She smirked "Am I taken hostage now?"

"Just for a little while", he gave back smiling. They moved the conversation to the couch, abandoning her jacket and when Douglas got up to get the wine from the dinner table she allowed herself to sink back against the couch and closed her eyes. She twitched when she suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders. "You are terribly tense", he said silently and started to draw small circles with his thumbs on her neck. She contemplated to stop him but it simply felt too good. While his hands worked out some of the tension of her neck and shoulders he asked. "How is your foster child, Rusty, right?"

"Rusty stays with a friend tonight. They wanted to play some video game", she explained and laid her hand on his to stop him from sliding down to far towards her breasts. In a fluent movement he resumed kneading her shoulders. She didn't know at what point exactly he had gone under the blouse but his hands were on her bare skin.

"Boys", Douglas said and Sharon couldn't place the amusement in his voice. Was it because she had just admitted she really had no time limit tonight? She made a mental note stop giving him a false impression and sat up decidedly stopping his hands once again. "Thank you", she said and gently lifted his hands away. It might be old school, but this was entirely to intimate for a first date. Douglas went around the couch to sit next to her and handed her a glass of wine. She took it and yelped surprised when he took her legs to drape them over his lap.

"Douglas what are you doing?" she asked pointedly, forced to lean back against the cushions if she wanted to look at him.

"Finishing what I started", he said unimpressed by her Darth-Raydor- glance. He took her heels off one at a time and placed them on the ground. She watched his hands hypnotized, not knowing whether she was too tired to protest or if her body betrayed her mind. He started to massage her feet, the right one first, with strong even movements.

"What do you think you started?" she asked moving her gaze from his hands to his eyes, all the while ignoring the small jolts of arousal every stroke of his hands sent up her body.

"A very thorough inspection of your body I intend to finish tonight", he said calmly.

She didn't know what to say, the message couldn't have been clearer, if he had asked her outright whether she'd sleep with him. There was only one difference, he hadn't asked and that she didn't like. She didn't like being taken for granted.

"What makes you so sure I'll let you finish, after all, this is our first date?" she asked in a clipped tone, narrowing her eyes on him.

"You haven't run from me so far. You are far too curious what I'll do with you and you clearly enjoy what I do. And with our limited time resources we can't afford to hesitate."

This was a bad idea she thought and quickly took her feet away setting them down on the ground in a fluent move. "You are far too confident in your ability to charm", she said setting down the wine on the couch table. He had closed the distance between them before she could get up. With fingers on her chin he turned her head, so she had to look at him. There was this intensity in his eyes again, that had her captured from the first time the met. She was reminded why she thought it was a bad idea. She was far to intrigued by him to think clearly and she didn't like losing control. Life had taught her she couldn't lose control with a man. Yet she sat there on a first date and contemplated to stay the night. "Do you trust me Sharon?"

She blinked, did she? A part of her certainly wanted to. That's not the point! another voice inside her shouted. It's too fast! And yet she hummed in approval.

"Good", he whispered and gently kissed her lips before he took her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom. He laid her down and she had the time to put her phone from her skirt pocket and place it on the bedside table, while he slid out of his pants. Her heart was racing when he kneeled astride over her and bent down to kiss her, exploring with his tongue. He stretched her arms above her head and Sharon abruptly broke the kiss when she heard a familiar click and felt metal on her wrist. "Douglas?" it was a warning low tone and he just smirked. "You said you trust me Sharon", he gave back and another click told there wouldn't be any further discussion on the matter. She had just been cuffed to a bed by a man she barely knew.

When had she given permission to be cuffed to this bed? Douglas meanwhile started to undress her first laying bare her upper body. His hands were slowly tracing the outline of her collarbone when her phone rang on the bedside table where she had abandoned it. "I'm sorry, but I have to get that, it's work", she said wriggling her hands. Douglas growled low and frustrated, but picked the phone up, took the call and placed it between her ear and her arm, so it wouldn't fall down.

"Lt. Provenza, what can I do for you?" Sharon said in her most professional voice, although Douglas had resolved his examination of her upper body, this time with his lips. The Lieutenant filled her in on yet another case they were still working. They had just arrested a potential suspect. She had a hard time to maintain her professional voice and winced when Douglas suddenly ripped her bra apart.

"Uhm Captain, are you ok? Is it a bad time to call?" the old Lieutenant asked and Sharon could practically hear him frown. "No it's fine I just pinched a toe. Go on", her voice was slightly strained. Douglas kissed down the nasty red stripes where the seam of her bra had dug into her skin fighting its destruction. She hummed listening to Provenza and gave some orders while her heartbeat accelerated till she could feel it in her throat. It had dawned to her just how strong the man, she had allowed to cuff her, had to be, when he was able to tear a bra apart. She felt her skirt and panty hose gently being removed along with her panties, while the Lieutenant read a statement to her. Douglas worked his way back up to her torso leaving a hickey on the left side of her neck. That was when she simply knew she had to end the call soon. Talking to a subordinate officer while being fucked simply was no option. "The statement sounds like he said the truth. I don't know Lieutenant, we'll have to talk about it tomorrow after the briefing. I'd suggest you go on home now too. In the morning we all might see clearer. Would you mind telling Lt. Flynn he's on emergency duty tonight? I won't be available. I've got a terrible headache and I really need some sleep."

"Chief Taylor won't like that. He wanted to call you. It's a wonder I beat him. It's about the suspect? What do I tell him?"

Sharon smirked feeling Douglas right hand wandering up her thigh. "Oh how about that I'm not available because a man chained me to his bed or something like that and don't forget to take a picture when you tell him, if you've got the guts. Good night Lieutenant" she said which what was left of her pointed voice.

Douglas reached up from her thigh and took the phone quickly shutting it down before discarding it on the bedside table once again. "Douglas, first you can't mark me, second do never rip off any underwear again, when I'm on the phone", she murmured in a deep velvety voice.

His face came into view a feral grin spreading on his lips. "Oh dear but I already did and I will make you remember this night."

"Oh I will remember", she said in a low almost purring voice. He raised a brow in question.

"Why will you remember?"

"I've never ever had a professional phone conversation chained to a bed and I've never had my bra", she winced again, when the fingers of his right hand touched the red strips he'd left tenderly "… ripped off."

"You know we'll have to do something about your perspective here Sharon", he whispered against the tender skin of her right neck side, before he bit down hard enough to leave another mark. A displeased sound of pain escaped her and made her yank involuntarily at the cuffs knowing immediately her wrists would show that tomorrow too. "I said you can't do that!" she said in her best punctuated voice usually reserved for giving out orders.

He shot her another feral look without a smile, which pushed Sharon's pulse to a level where she could feel every heartbeat from head to toe. She swallowed entering a staring contest with Douglas she knew he had the better chances to win, simply because of his position. He reached out and removed her glasses. Satisfied he smirked "Oh there is Sharon at last", narrowing down to her, when she blinked green eyes widened in anticipation. "You look sweet and vulnerable without those glasses, slightly like a haunted deer." His lips almost touched hers "I like it" he whispered and kissed her. There was nothing gentle about his hard, demanding approach. He played with her body, knowingly touching, squeezing, stroking, even yanking, at the right time and place. That was only part of what had her so aroused. It was more that he had managed to shatter her armor by making her defenseless. She had no other option than to let go, completely. Once she did let go she found it was amazing what he could do even with her being restrained.

Panting in the aftermath of her second orgasm he finally released her wrists. She made a quick visit to the bathroom, legs still wobbly from the action. When she had washed herself and brushed her hair she returned to the bedroom to find Douglas leaning against the headrest of the bed, waiting for her. "Come here", he ordered. Sharon arched an eyebrow but got under the covers all the same. He drew her into his arms kissing her forehead "You're amazing". A shy smile crossed her features "I would return the compliment but it'd get to your head."

He shook his head "You already know me to well", before he kissed her lips. The heady demanding energy he had shown before had transformed into the lazy underlying strength of a lion. Although she felt exhausted they spent the better part of the remaining night making out till Sharon dozed off in his arms when dawn set in.

**I'm not sure this isn't too fast but I just couldn't resist. Sorry for disappointing Andy/Sharon-shippers. I'm not yet sure where to take this. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Thank's for the reviews!

Sharon woke when the alarm of her smartphone went off. She sat up and blinked. She took her glasses from the bedside table and put them on. Unlike some people she was quite aware where she was and remembered every detail of last night and blushed at the thought of what she had allowed Douglas to do to her, or rather how much she had liked what he'd done.

"Of course", she said to herself finding she was alone in the huge bed. Although she halfway had expected it, she still felt used.

"I'm too old for one night stands" she told herself and got up. The display of her smartphone told her it was too late to go home before to change. She had set a briefing for 9.30 a.m. and it was already way after 8 a.m. . So it would be the first time she ever went to work without a bra. She laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole situation and walked over to the bathroom. There she found a note with her Name on a neatly folded pile of dark clothes. She unfolded it:

"_I'm sorry I had to leave early and didn't want to wake you up. I took the liberty to send your clothes, or what I didn't destroy in the heat of the moment last night, to have it cleaned. These should fit. I hope you enjoyed the evening as much as I did. _

_Yours Douglas."_

She looked at the clothes and found it to be a plain black Chanel costume with another pencil skirt just like the one she had worn last night, a silken aubergine blouse, along with a lacey set of underwear in the same color. When her eyes fell on the black stay ups she shook her head "Gosh, thinking with his second brain", she mumbled and sighed. There was nothing to do about it. She took a quick shower and blowdried her hair. She had an emergency makeup kit in her purse, since her days in FID. Back in the early days she had learned that an awful lot of police officers tended to chuck whatever they were currently drinking into her face during an interview. Most interesting, it was usually the ones that were guilty of the charges brought up against them. She smiled at the thought of Andy chunking a full glass of coke right in her face, when yet another female officer had complained about his behavior. It had brought him an extra week of sensitivity training back then.

The clothes fitted, no surprise. This man seemed to make no mistakes. Or rather the employee that had picked the clothes.

She arrived at the LAPD just on time for the briefing she had scheduled herself. There was even time to grab a coffee before she heard the news on their latest case. They had caught another weird one. The victim had been displayed as a puppet on the crime scene, the stage of a small Theatre downtown. The victim had been one of the theaters regular guests and investigating the theatre staff had turned out to be a dead end. Now they were on the other regular guests.

"Problem is, they don't have names of the guests just faces, which means we have to sit through the worst production of A Midsummernnight's dream", Flynn said and sipped his coffee. His gaze lingered on the Captain. She wore a killer outfit, in his opinion. Provenza elbowed him in the side to get his attention back on the case. Sharon gave them a look over the rim of her glasses that said they behaved like teenagers, again. In fact she was too tired for their pranks.

"Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza are going to that the theatre tonight and get a list with addresses and names."

Sykes actually smiled and that got her a clipped "Detective Sykes will be joining you tonight."

That made Flynn smirk, yet only briefly because he saw the hickey on right side very low on her neck.

"Lt. Tao any prints on the crime scene?"

"No but Dr. Morales found some DNA under the victim's nails. We are waiting on Lab results."

Sharon nodded and asked about the costume the victim had been found in. Sykes had an answer hoping to get some brownie points.

"It was a costume from the theatre's storage", she said eager to please as always. Her face fell when Sharon only hummed. "Okay, let's wrap yesterday's case up and we're good to go home. I want a list of guests on Monday Lieutenants. I'll be in my office if you need me." The meeting was over and everyone went back to their tasks. Flynn's expression had gone dark.

"Hey could be worse", he said.

"How?"

"I don't know, but there are probably worse things."

Andy nodded. There were, she had a hickey which meant she had been with someone. Hell! He had thought they were getting somewhere. His inner self shrugged. Bullshit, they were getting nowhere he would never have had the guts to ask her out. He nodded to himself, as if his inner self and swung the mental bat of reality against his head.

Yet she had accompanied him to Nicole's wedding! That surely meant something, or so he thought. Perhaps it wasn't a hickey.

This conversation occupied his mind till he decided to bring her a fresh cup of coffee. He had to get a closer look at her neck, he simply needed to know.

He made some fresh coffee and fixed a big mug with lots of milk for her and one for himself.

"Hey, I thought you could use a fresh mug", he announced holding up said mug. She looked up from the autopsy report she was reading.

"Thank you", she said silently. He crossed over to her desk and leaned forward to place the mug on her desk. What he was really going for was a better look at her neck. It was there, almost hidden under the collar of her blouse, a hickey. That's so highschool! He thought. What guy would do that? Was he so insecure, he had to mark her like this.

Sharon straightened her sleeves out. They had rode up and revealed marks from the cuffs. Flynn was lingering this sent a jolt of panic through her. Had he seen her wrists? Good grief. She had to talk to Douglas. If they would do this, or anything involving being naked ever again she would have to set some rules and make him stick to them. Just when she formed a comment on his towering over her in mind Sykes knocked. "Uhm Captain?" she said and came in holding a single white Lilly in her hands. It was artfully wrapped into clear foil. "This has been delivered for you", she explained and placed the vase it was in on the Captains desk.

Sharon's eyes widened at the sight of the flower. How did he know? How on earth did Douglas know her favorite flowers? She didn't doubt it was from him. A small envelope fixed to the foil proved it. Sykes retreated and Sharon looked at Flynn still lingering halfway leaning over her desk, hands still placed on them. "Yes?" she asked a quizzical look.

"Uhm, who sent this flower?" he asked, eyes dark and lighted with fury.

"That's non of your business Lieutenant", she answered calmly leaning back in her chair and crossed her Arms "Anything else?", she asked her voice cool and edgy.

"Yeah plenty", he shot back and stormed out anyway. He knew he had no right to be jealous and he knew he behaved like a jerk and he knew he needed some fresh cold water in his face to calm down and set his mind straight.

Sharon followed him with her eyes while she took the envelope. From the flower foil and opened it. She recognized the fluent smooth handwriting. There was only one word.

_Lunch? _

She took her phone and sent a text.

_The Lily just arrived. I'm not sure I can look you into your eyes so soon again._

I didn't take long and her phone rang. She was used to get a text for a text message. It would have been so much easier to text, she realized, and told herself how ridiculous it was not to pick up.

"Yes?" she said almost certain her mailbox had already picked up, but nope. Douglas amused voice answered.

"You know it getting really awkward if you wait, right?"

Answering the phone? She thought before realizing he meant meeting him again. Ok Sharon, you are grown up act like it! Where was Darth-Raydor when needed?

"I'm just afraid you'd ruin another perfect set of lingerie", she replied trying a smirk.

"I occasionally let my love interests eat after a full night on duty", he gave back and made her blush. "Besides", he continued "it would be a shame not to show me your outfit."

"Again, afraid of losing a bra!"

"I promise not to destroy any more lingerie."

"Gee you don't take no for an answer?"

"Never."

"Well then where do you want me?"

"You mean besides my bed?"

She rolled her eyes "Where do you want to meet for dinner?"

"At the hotel I have a phone conference at 3 p.m. so how about we meet at 12.30?"

"Okay."

She left at noon. Rusty would stay at Taos till Sunday evening. He had studied so much during the last weeks, so he had earned a weekend free and she knew Kevin was mature for his age, which seemed to work for Rusty. She was glad he had finally found a friend who just wanted to be friends.

To Sharons relieve Douglas had made reservations for a table at the hotel's restaurant this time. It was a small table separated by dividers. He seemed as relieved as her when they sat down. Yet he had other reasons.

"I just saw a guy I occasionally work with. He always wants to sell me some new ideas, which I've heard and declined 10 times already."

"So you aren't afraid to be seen with me."

"I'm not the one insisting on not being picked up."

"The LAPD has the fastest bush telegraph in this city. You don't want them to know you are dating the former head of FID", she said. It was only half the truth. She didn't want her team to know, yet. She couldn't deal with Flynn's reaction right now. Hell she didn't know where this was going, so if it was only some dates she didn't need the banter and the questions and the looks.

"Working in internal affairs is counterproductive to popularity hmm."

She laughed "Exactly."

"Is it better now that you are in Major Crimes."

She thought about it "Yes and no."

"How?"

"Let's just say some people have a hard time to forget I was FID."

"Your team too?"

"They kind of came over it."

Their meal arrived. Douglas had ordered some salad with grilled chicken filet. They spent the meal in relative silence. Sharon hadn't realized how hungry she was till she ate. When they had coffee afterwards he picked the conversation up again.

"Is Rusty back home tonight?"

She shook her head "He stays at a friend's house. He earned some time off. He was in summer school and I guess some vacation is warranted."

He nodded. "He's a bright boy, isn't he?"

"Oh yes", she gave back and elaborated on Rusty's ability to catch up with other students his age "and he loves chess", she closed her praise, sadly reminded that Rusty dropped chess, because he ran away from yet someone else.

Douglas smiled. "So if the brilliant boy is not home tonight can I coax you into another date."

"You know this is a fast schedule."

"Hey who know's. If you pick up yet another case, I might not get a chance to see you in weeks and the boy doesn't need me around and you can't leave him alone when he's home, so I take whatever chance I get."

She shook her head in disbelief. His reasoning was so plausible. "And my I ask what you have in mind."

"It's a surprise."

"I don't really like surprises."

"Is that a cop thing?"

"No a Sharon thing and there's something else", she said looking at her mobile and got up, it was time to get back to work. "I don't like being taken for granted and when I say you can't mark me, I mean it Douglas." She turned on her heel and had barely made a step when he suddenly felt his arms around her waist. He pulled her back against his body back out of general few.

"I would never make the mistake of taking you for granted and for your little rules Sharon. I didn't get your moans of pleasure last night meant don't do that. Tell me honestly you didn't enjoy what I did to you and I will follow that little rule", he whispered brushing her hair aside with his right hand.

She swallowed, she wouldn't lie "I can't be seen at work like this", she answered truthfully.

She heard the amusement in his voice when he whispered, his breath ghosting over her neck where he had placed the hickey last night. "I'll remember that. Sharon, you will come tonight, understood? I don't like a no" it was more of an order than a question, especially in relation with the last sentence. His lips brushed over the hickey lightly and she swallowed, shivering involuntarily before she nodded briefly. After all she didn't know, if her voice would obey her right now. He squeezed her sides lightly and whispered "Good", before he released her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She returned to her office at 2.30 p.m., only to find Taylor waiting for her. Apparently Provenza had told him exactly what she had suggested he should say last night and Taylor didn't think it particularly funny.

"Did you really say that?" he asked, halfway planning to send Provenza to yet another round of sensitivity training.

She shrugged "I guess I said something like that."

"Are you insane?" Taylor barked.

"No sleep-deprived", she answered in a clipped tone.

He bristled "Don't give them ammunition Sharon", he finally said sighing.

What followed was a rather unnerving discussion about overtime. As a result Sharon had sent everyone home at 4.p.m. and went home herself at 4.30. Douglas had sent a text asking her to be at his hotel around 5.30. This time she made a detour home to grab a small trolley and packed for yet another night with a man she had only had one date with so far. She took time to call Rusty to ask him how things were going. He was very excited about the videogame they played now. They had finished GTA and played Skyrim now, which was a fantasy game as far as she understood.

"Hey uhm so, how was your date?" he asked, only slightly uncomfortable.

"Fine, I mean he was very nice. When should I pick you up tomorrow?"

They negotiated for about 5 minutes when she would pick him up and settled for 4 p.m..

…

When she entered the hotel's lobby about 5.30 p.m. she was greeted by Ms. Livingstone, Douglas pale, colorless assistant, wearing another light gray outfit, like the one she had displayed when Sharon had met her for the first time.

"Captain Raydor", she greeted extending a hand to her.

They shook hands "Ms. Livingstone."

"Mr. McGregor wanted me to bring you to Stanley."

Sharon raised a brow "Stanley?"

"Yes, Stanley Peter, he's our stylist."

"The what? I mean, uhm, …" she frowned "… really, he has a stylist on his payroll?"

Ms. Livingstone nodded and looked like she was on the verge of panic "You so don't want to go, do you?"

"Right."

The blond woman blinked then smiled "Oh there was something else he wanted me to tell you word by word. It's a surprise, trust me… well him, well you know what I mean."

Sharon raised two brows now and when she said a small little word that changed so much "No". It sounded so definite and low Lydia Livingstone seemed to crumble.

"I'm in big trouble if I don't get you to the stylist and hairdresser and so on. We have to get you dressed up and ready by 7.15 when he arrives back at the hotel.

Sharon almost had pity but pulled her phone from her purse and called Douglas. He picked up after the second ring.

"Don't tell me you caught a murder", he started.

"No I didn't. Ms. Livingstone just told me I had an appointment with your stylist. May I ask if something is wrong with my style?" she said accentuating every word a little more with the anger rising in her.

"Everything is fine with your style but you need a different attire for the surprise I planned."

"You might not believe it," she started laying her free and at her waist and started pacing "but I have a perfect nice set of dresses for any occasion. If you weren't so secretive about what you plan I might have been able to bring something suitable", she was less than happy with his attitude and couldn't stop herself before she said "If you want a prepped up bimbo you might want to resort to other dates", indicating he could always hire an escort. "I don't like it when a man tries to take over my life. It's not happening."

"Sharon I wanted to be nice and I wanted it to be a surprise", he sounded cool and angry too. "I don't assume you want to go to the ballet in the clothes you have with you, do you?"

There was a long silence, since Sharon needed to recover from having acted totally inappropriate in her opinion. Of course he had a reason for doing what he did. She was embarrassed by her own outburst, which showed in the small "No" she finally managed.

She could hear him nod in knowing. "See, now please let Lydia do her job. She's probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

Sharon sent a taxing look at the miserable assistant. "You might be right there too."

"See, now please let my people do their jobs and be nice."

She frowned.

"I added that because right now you seem to be in an awfully difficult mood."

"I, uhm never mind." She wanted to hang up but was interrupted by his "Sharon?"

She hummed quizzical. "I'm looking forward to tonight", he said gently and ended the call.

Ms. Livingstone asked with her eyes and Sharon said rolling hers "Bring me to this stylist."

She did not only meet Stanley Peters, a bald man, with glasses and an ego bigger than Lagerfeld but also the makeup artist, a woman in her 40ies with dark hair and a smile whose name was Monica and the hairdresser, who was a man with black hair longer than hers and they most blatant gay attitude she had ever seen. Ms. Livingstone fled from every one of them as soon as she had brought Sharon to Douglas suite where she was greeted by those three above. It felt like Miss Congeniality when they sat her down on a chair and started talking about her as if she wasn't there.

"Great hair", stated the hair guy, feeling her hair, meaning mess it up with his hands.

"Yeah I'm not sure I have something in a color that goes with the hair and her green eyes", came from Stanley looking back and forth between her and the clothing rail he had rolled into what used to be the dressing room of Douglas suite.

The makeup artist only smiled at her and shrugged apologetic when she noticed Sharon's huge eyes.

When Sharon finally had enough after the guys discussed her for another 10 minutes she cleared her throat. "You know I'm right here, do you?"

Stanley looked at her over his shoulder, in the course of his conversation he had moved to the gowns and flipped throw the hangers, "And your point?"

"My point is, you are very rude and if you want to dress me you start talking to me" she turned to look at the hair guy. "And you, stop fussing with my hair."

She returned her attention back to Stanley "I don't know who you normally dress besides Douglas but here I'm the one that makes the ultimate decision."

She glanced back at hair guy again "You didn't even introduce yourself and don't even think about coming near me with a scissor."

Stanley didn't like conferring with Sharon at first, but had to admit she had great sense for fashion and color and hair guy really had a name, Brian.

Brian asked her to go and take a shower because they needed her without makeup and with wet hair to style it. He handed her a set of shampoo and conditioner. 15 minutes later her she surrendered her hair to the stylist. Brian used several round brushes and blow dried her hair after spraying to with heat protect that smelled like lilies.

Stanley showed her dresses he deemed ok and they settled for two she'd actually try on. Stanley had brought lingerie too. With either dress she'd have to wear a strapless bra. She was afraid of pantie lines but Stanley bad brought some that didn't make any lines. Sharon even found out it was him who had opted for the stay-ups, of whom she'd wear a pair again.

They settled for a powdery grayish light cool lavender dress from Elie Saab, whose top was made of see-through material covered with a beautiful pattern of silvery beads, gemstones and silver threads, while the skirt consisted of flowing layers of flowing chiffon. Monica completed the look with sensible makeup in warm grayish brown eye shadow and a light blush together with her own lipstick. Her hair fell in soft waves and Stanley equipped her with a clutch and satin shoes in the color of her dress and left a suiting tie for Douglas. She thanked everyone and they wrapped up. Within minutes she was alone in the now very empty lonely dressing room. She resisted the urge to peek into the closets covering the walls of the dressing room.

When she glanced into one of the mirror doors she realized this felt even more like a first date than yesterday evening. And yet again she asked herself what she was doing here. She was wearing a dress that was probably more expensive than her entire evening gown collection together. Before her thoughts could go down the what-am-I-doing-lane any further she heard someone move at the door and turned to find Douglas lingering in the doorway.

"How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to be amazed you made Stanley consider your opinion. He always tells me to just put on what he puts together for me."

"Speaking of", she gave back und hold up the tie "I was told to tell you this has to go with your tuxedo."

Douglas walked over to her and took the tie. His gaze fell on the small trolley abandoned in a corner and smiled before returning his attention to her. He laid a finger under her chin and gently rose it so he could kiss her and before she even had the time to protest he whispered "I know I know, don't mess with the make-up" before his lips gently touched hers. It was a short kiss, before he stepped back "I'd better get changed. We don't want to be late do we."

She hummed a no and went over to a small couch to sit down and wait for him. She took the time to check her phone. No calls, so Rusty was fine and her team either at home or at the theatre. She pitied Flynn and Provenza but even more poor Amy, who would not only have to endure the bad theatre performance but the others bad mood. She put her phone to soundless mode and even disabled the vibration.

Douglas found her deep in thought when he returned silently from the bathroom where he had changed. He had been surprised when he had managed to get her to go out with him again. Sharon had intrigued him from the first moment he had laid eyes on her. He wanted to know the woman behind the police captain. He had learned last night that a direct order mostly caused her to follow the command, probably part of her work personality, to follow rules and orders by superiors. He displayed a feral grin on the last thought. If his line of thinking was correct at least part of her accepted him as superior. Yet she tried to control what happened between them, especially the pace of this relationships development. He smiled yet again; she wasn't succeeding in slowing things down. It was fun to find ways around her rules and tonight he thought would be another step because it was a date in public and paparazzi almost always took pictures. She wouldn't be able to deny she was with him afterwards. He smiled again. Sharon would be his. He knew she was still married but that was only a matter of money. The husband needed money badly and that meant he could be bought into getting a divorce.

She flinched when she felt his hand on her shoulder. "Would you please try not to startle me?!" she said.

"Sorry, but we need to go and you were lost in thought. Where was your mind?"

"Work", she answered simply and definitely. She didn't want to talk about it and he let it go.

When she was lost in thought on their way to the ballet he asked again where her thoughts were travelling. She only hummed resurfacing from the depth of thought.

"I asked where you were, clearly not here."

She smiled apologetic. "Sorry. I'm a little exhausted and I have lots of things on my mind."

"What?" he nudged. He wanted her talk about it, because she'd be brooding all evening otherwise.

"Name one, Rusty, a case, my team, my kids."

"The boy is fine right now isn't he?"

"Seems so but"

"No Sharon, he is ok, you need to stop worrying when you know the facts. He has been through a lot and there are good, bad and really bad days but right now he is fine."

She just nodded.

"So your work, especially your team. What happened that you zone out?"

"One of my Lieutenants is going to be really difficult for some time and I have to wonder how I'm going to deal with it without strangling him."

He made her look at him with directing her head with a gentle move of his hand. "You are seriously telling me you think of another man right now."

She frowned "I'm afraid so."

"Well we can't have that, do we?" he whispered and drew her nearer with a free hand. The leather seats of the Mercedes made that easy and he just kissed her, not like the chaste short kiss from earlier but a deep, sensual one. Sharon tried to stop him but gave up resisting soon. His hands rested on her hips and she could feel the warmth of his touch through the thin material of her gown. Her hands lay against his breast and she stopped caring for the chauffeur who could watch them or her make-up and closed her eyes with a silent hum leaning a little more into him.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Hi everyone. I read all your reviews. Thank you :) It's great some of you are worried about Douglas and don't trust him. I don't trust him too:-). That's exactly what I wanted to transport. **

Only 20 minutes later she was happy her make-up wasn't trashed because when they got out of the car they were practically blinded by a flurry of flashbulbs. Sharon managed to smile and walk as fast and gracefully as possible. When they had left the paparazzi behind the smile vanished from her face.

"Did you know they would be there?" she asked silently.

Douglas sensed he couldn't brush this off, but he had an explanation. "I didn't know there would be so many. If I had known I would have brought you in on a side entrance."

She hummed but her face showed she didn't quite believe him. "You know, I can't have some tabloid reporters digging up my life right now", or at any time she added in mind. "Rusty has received a threatening letter not so long ago and the DDA is trying to take the boy from me and I can't let that happen. So far no one knew he was with me but now…" she got her phone out "I have to call my lawyer perhaps he can stop this." She scrolled through her phone's address book for Gavin's number, when Douglas pulled her hand holding the device down so she had to look at him.

"Sharon, I'll take care of it. I have a bunch of people working for me who'll make sure the boy's whereabouts won't be compromised, ok?"

She shook her head "No not ok. I should have known better and you should too! This whole idea was insane", she gave back and drew her hand from his.

„If that isn't Douglas McGregor", a voice called out and Douglas and Sharon turned both to find a man in his 40ies with a beautiful blond woman at his side coming their way. Sharon blinked and suddenly felt like she was in a Cinderella story gone wrong. It was the mayor and his wife.

"Seriously?", she mumbled and dropped her phone back into the clutch before both tried to smile at the mayor and his wife.

"I didn't think you'd be here tonight" the woman said and gave Douglas a hug and air kissed him. Her attention went to Sharon "And you brought someone with you, Maya Quintero", she introduced herself and held a hand out. Sharon took it and said "Sharon Raydor, it's a pleasure to meet you." Douglas engaged into small talk with the mayor and introduced Sharon as very good friend.

"Did you manage to get him away from work? It's so difficult to get him out."

Sharon shook her head and only Douglas heard the undertone when she said "Oh no it was all his idea." Meaning as much as Douglas understood, No he created this mess alone. Maya gave Douglas a surprised raise of her brows.

"Sharon is usually working more than me. She's an LAPD Captain", the millionaire explained.

Maya displayed a broad smile, apparently she had deemed Sharon to be one of his escorts. "That's really exciting, Ramon", she turned to get her husband's attention. The mayor excused himself from a group of politicians and returned to his wife's side. "Sharon works for the LAPD" she said excited.

"Oh my, Captain Sharon Raydor?" he asked.

"The same Sir", she replied. She had actually met the mayor, while she was on the committee for the search of a new Chief of Police.

He explained he had already met Sharon and provided some stories of the bargaining she had done in order to get a woman on the list. When the bell rang to indicate everyone should get to their seat they parted and Douglas led Sharon to his box. She tried to step farther away from him, which made him not simply place his hand in the small of her back but laying his hand around her waist squeezing a little when she tried to get away. "Sharon please I'll make sure the boy stays save", he said fighting for patience. He would hire a bodyguard for the boy if she was so worried.

"So far you haven't made a call to try so", she gave back distancing herself as far as possible from the inside and outside. Both not taking her far, since his grip tightened again. If he had squeezed tighter she'd have imprints of his fingers tomorrow. He suddenly fell back and pulled out his phone. He really called his personal assistant and told her to see that the pictures of their entrance wouldn't appear in tomorrow's news. That was a next to impossible task, which was why he sent a text that she should preselect some bodyguards he'd interview later this week.

Sharon you really drive me crazy, he thought and caught up to her. "I called Lydia she'll do what she can to prevent the pictures form getting into public, happy now?"

She shook her head "The damage's done Douglas. I should have never agreed in the first place", she said silently.

"Sharon even you are entitled to have some fun from time to time. If the guy who threatened Rusty would really want to find him he'd already done so and he'd already made his threat true. And if it was so dangerous for the boy he might really be better off in witness protection."

They walked into the dim light of the box. No one besides them was in there. Sharon's mood was as dark as the box, when she shook her head vehemently. "No he need's stability and I'm not willing to risk his life or his future just because I'm out of my mind."

"Out of your mind?"

"Yes. I didn't have a decent date in god knows how long and then 3 in 2 days with you. I have never ever slept with a man on a first date, that's way out of character for me. So yes I'm out of my mind!"

Of all things he could say he said frowning "Three?"

She counted on her fingers "Dinner, lunch, ballet! But that's not the point."

He raised brow "What's the point?"

She shook her head again "I shouldn't be here", she said and got up, although she had only sat down just a moment ago.

"Why? Are you afraid of me?"

"No", she said in a Don't-be-ridiculous-tone.

"Ah, then you are afraid of your own feelings", he assumed and got up, close to her and took one of her hands gently in his. "May I remind you that it's perfectly normal to be attracted to a man even after you sinned and slept with him, breaking date-rule number one, never to sleep with a man before the third date."

She bristled "Now you mock me!" she whispered.

"Oh and it's perfectly normal for me to make surprises like this. I thought you could use a distraction. I admit I didn't realize it could cause problems regarding the boy but I'll take care of that, ok? It would be a real waste if we left now. It's the ABT and it's _The Nutcracker_. Please Sharon, don't walk out on me because of your insecurities."

He drew circles with his thumb on her hand. She looked down on her hand in his and knew he was right. It was mainly her own insecurity about the novelty of stumbling into this whirlwind romance. As a detective she had learned to trust her instincts but when it came to men it was sometimes as if her common sense walked out on her. So feeling like running probably meant she should stay. It was a weird logic but she didn't feel like running from Jack when she had first met him and had learned the hard way she should have run. So she sank down on the chair again and allowed Douglas to hold on to her hand as he sat down next to her. He never stopped to caress her hand and eventually she felt some of the tension in her shoulders ease up. It was a classical production. And the ballerina playing Clara was fabulous. During the break Douglas checked in with Lydia to make sure she was on the right task, while Sharon checked her phone. She had halfway expected to get a text message from Flynn complaining about the play and Sykes but nothing.

Douglas had ordered some sparkling wine, high priced peach flavored stuff. It wasn't as dry as champagne. They didn't leave the box and talked about the ballet. Douglas found always a way to brush his leg against hers or touch her hand gently. When the light went out and the stage was lit again she barely noticed it until his hand landed all too casually on her knee. She waited if it was yet another small brush but firmly stopped his hand when it wandered up her leg. She laid her hand on his but didn't push him away. She felt obliged to show him she wasn't as insecure about him as he thought.

Douglas smirked in the darkness. He had managed to get her to not follow her instincts. It would be interesting to see if he could make her forget some of her rules and boundaries too. It wasn't as if he wanted to change her, he wanted to know her and to have her trust him enough to allow him to take the lead. She had done so in bed already, evidently it took more persuasion outside of the bedroom. It was difficult to fight his need to control, because he knew he couldn't control her and much less own her. That was part of the attraction. She was the first woman in a very long time he deemed strong enough to be his equal and he wasn't ready to let her go just because a picture of them could endanger a boy.

Sharon allowed herself to be fascinated by the magic of the ballets story. It was too early in the year to watch _The Nutcracker_ but it was exactly what she needed at the moment. Although she tried to focus on the stage her mind wandered. It was nice to feel wanted. She had thought she wouldn't cause that kind of attraction in anyone anymore. And Douglas attraction was not only flattering but infusing hers towards him as well. She wanted him for wanting her. Her body told her that clearly by the jolts of arousal his touch caused, she had yet to wrap her mind around the concept that she wanted him too. She had wanted Jackson and that had almost destroyed her. It still pained her to think about the fact that Jackson wasn't capable to be the man she had needed. When she had struggled through her internal detachment of Jack she had sworn to herself to never ever let any man get so close that he could hurt her like Jack had. Douglas surely got under her skin and that was the dangerous part. She would have to make a decision soon or she might never be able to walk away.

Back at the hotel a snack waited for them in his suite. It was only grilled ham and cheese toast but Douglas admitted it was his favorite food after a long evening at the theatre. She declined and settled for a glass of water. While he devoured one of the toasts she wandered to the bed room. She hadn't really seen it last night. She smirked, she remembered the bed, king size, white sheets a single mattress and she remembered the cuffs she found under a pillow. "Gosh how embarrassing", she mumbled. The maid who cleaned up here knew what they had done last night! Blushing she put the cuffs back under his pillow and set on the edge of the bed before her exhaustion got the better of her and she sank into the pillows, where Douglas found her 10 minutes later.

He smiled at the sight. Her long auburn locks framed her face and the dress completed the angelic look. "How long do you plan to stare at me Douglas" she finally asked opening her eyes just when he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"I thought you had fallen asleep" he admitted and smirked continuing with "and I tried to figure out how to undress you without taking advantage of the situation afterwards."

She hummed "I see. You know there is only one answer", she said mirroring his smirk "That's not possible."

"Is that an invitation to take advantage of you?"

"No", she said mimicking her own no nonsense tone. "That's an order", she added and pulled him down into a sensual kiss. If this was bound to happen again, and it clearly was, she was determined she'd be the one leading the way this time. What started out as a lazy make out soon turned into a very sensual, yet fervent fight for control. Sharon was at a disadvantage because of her gown. She found herself panting on her back her hands stretched out above her and hold by one of his hands. "Do I need to bind you again dear?" he teased gently nibbling at her neck.

"As promising as this sounds, no. I need to get out of this dress before it's ruined and I'd like to leave everything else I'm wearing undamaged to."

He smiled and helped her undress. It took some of the fever and allowed both to tread more lightly afterwards. The action still made her wish her body was younger and him less fit. He had the stamina of a 20 year old with the advantage of not only being able to do what he did to her all night but knowing what to do, too. Without being restrained she was able to partake more than last night but he made her lie on her back whenever she got on top he quickly laid her on her back again. Foreplay drew out into learning each other's body, both enjoying getting educated at what the other one liked, before Douglas finally took her. Once again she lay panting when he fell on his back in the wee hour before dawn. She was too exhausted to move while he jumped up and made a quick detour to the bathroom. She wished she could just fall asleep but it would be icky to go to the bathroom in the morning and oddly enough she felt the need to put some clothing on, so she dragged herself up and padded over to the dressing room where she knew another toilet waited and her trolley. When she returned wearing a white simple nightie he frowned. "Why are you dressed again?"

"Because I like to sleep dressed", she said and got under the covers again. He drew her to him and played with a strand of her hair while the other one hold her to him.

"So I need to wear you out enough to make you stay naked. After all that's what it's all about."

She laughed "Uh sometimes being in bed is about sleeping and that's way more comfortable in a nightgown", she mumbled sleepily and turned to lie on her side. Reluctantly Douglas wrapped his body around her, spooning her and holding her close with one arm, while burying his face in her hair.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Hello everyone. Thanks for your reviews, sorry it took so long but I couldn't find the right moment to close this chapter hope you like the closing.**

When Sharon picked Rusty up Sunday afternoon she wasn't in a particularly good mood. Ms. Livingstone had failed to prevent the pictures from last night to be published and found herself next to Douglas in an article about the ABT Premier of The Nutcracker last night. The cutline read: "Douglas McGregor and his new girlfriend, LAPD Captain Sharon Raydor."

She had left without breakfast and called Gavin from her car. After he had commented on her dress, which he thought gorgeous, and complaining that the hot guys always were straight he advised against legal action.

"Because sweety, if you make a fuss you only make them think there's something interesting to know", he explained. "Speaking of, I want details Sharon, spill it", he demanded assuming he had answered her legal questions.

"Gavin I can't have the press breathing down my neck. If Rusty's whereabouts were compromised he could end up in witness protection after all and the boy wouldn't live through it."

There was a moment of silence before he admitted "That could get difficult."

"You have no idea. So if you don't think I can stop the news of my dating Douglas McGregor, what are your ideas for keeping the boy save", after a moment she added "without putting him into witness protection."

"Uhm, gee, that's challenging, I'll think about it. In the meantime don't worry until you have to. McGregor isn't on the top target list of tabloids, so you aren't too. After all Rusty isn't in the picture and you aren't wearing an engagement ring so you are just another pretty face accompanying him."

She sighed. "Oh god how could I have been so stupid."

Gavin wanted an explanation and she told him about the last 3 days of her life and how stupid her decisions seemed in retrospective.

"And what are you planning to do now honey?" he asked after she finished.

"What am I planning to do? I'm never ever going to see him again."

She could imagine Gavin's brows rise "So you plan not to see a man you had and I quote, fantastic sex with, ever again because he forgot to consider it might be not good for you to be photographed in a gorgeous dress."

"It's just, I think he set me up deliberately", she admitted. It had been nagging her last night and Douglas had vanquished that thought but daylight had brought back her doubts.

"You mean he forced you to put that dress on and go to an ABT premier? Gosh how devilish! What would he have gotten from that?"

"I don't know, but I'm certain he does nothing without reason. He is so considerate of everything, has an answer to every one of my concerns."

"Gee Sharon I know what's so devilish about him."

"Really?"

"Yes. He's taking care of you" and added smugly, "in every way."

She bristled "I don't know why I even told you. I should have known you wouldn't take me serious."

"Is it so hard to believe he could be good for you?"

"Are you thinking I'm too pessimistic when it comes to men?"

"You are reading my mind. Call me if you need help with DDA Rios about Rusty and Sharon?"

She hummed.

"Tell me what verdict you adjudicated on Douglas McGregor."

She hummed yet again and Gavin ended the call.

Rusty had sensed her mood and didn't ask how the date did go. She asked him about his weekend and listened halfheartedly. They spent most of the remaining Sunday in their rooms. Sharon needing some sleep and time to think, Rusty needing to complete assignments.

Monday morning she had made a decision. She wouldn't see him again. It was just too complicated. After all they were from different worlds. She wouldn't risk losing Rusty.

Blur romance, over in blur, she thought feeling it sting when she entered the murder room to find Provenza already at his place.

"How was your Saturday night date Captain?"

Right to the point she thought and smirked, "Probably not as much fun as yours."

"If you deem Flynn in a constantly shitty mood and Sykes asking about the play, we all remembered differently, fun you are right I had a lot of fun."

She smiled apologetic "Sorry. Did you get anything from it?"

"We have names and addresses."

"So it wasn't a total waste?"

"I don't think we are on the right track here Captain. I can't put my finger on it but we are missing something here."

She hummed and her eyes wandered over the murder board. He was right she had the same feeling and she couldn't decipher what they didn't see. Shaking her head, as if to clear her mind, she said, "We'll have to try."

Sharon spent most of the day in her office, partly because she had lots of paperwork and partly to avoid Flynn, who was casting deadly looks at her. She wasn't surprised to get yet another white lily delivered. She didn't even read the card. When she was about to throw the flower away too she couldn't. It would have been a waste; yet, keeping it would be as bad. So she placed it in the conference room.

It was late afternoon, when she received a call from Taylor, who informed her of William Gull's death. Gull had been Douglas' assistant and a serial killer they had caught only recently.

"How?"

"He was killed during an incident between several prisoners. His head was bashed in or something", Taylor had explained.

She had only hummed and thanked the Chief for the information, before she picked up her mobile to call her daughter. Lauren had almost been one of Gull's victims, she deserved to know.

Lauren picked up on the third ring, which meant she wasn't giving a lecture. "Hi mom", she greeted.

"Where are you?"

"At my office at the university, why?" Lauren leaned back in the vintage leather couch she had decorated her office with.

"Because you are supposed to be on vacation."

"If you must know, I'm wrapping up. I have my last speaking hour for the next 4 weeks starting in 25 minutes. Rusty said you had a date?"

Sharon smiled. Her daughter tried to throw her off track by addressing the date. "When does your vacation start?"

"Tomorrow!" Lauren grumbled. "Is the woman who hadn't taken a day off in over year calling me to remind me I need a break?"

"Actually not I'm just combining. I call because I thought you'd like to know that William Gull died last night."

Lauren went silent. She knew on a conscious level she was still traumatized by her encounter with Mr. Gull. What she wasn't so good at dealing with was the panic attack she felt rising. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. This was good news, right? He was gone forever, which meant he couldn't hurt her anymore. Still her body went into full panic mode, heart racing, her hands starting to shake. "Uhm mom, I have to call you back", she said hastily and hung up. She knew it was rude but she needed to lie down and calm down. It was the 10th panic attack she had had since she barely escaped William Gull. The mere mention of his name caused this, she thought, while she tried to breath more slowly in order to prevent passing out from hyperventilating. _I need to call Dee_, she thought. Dee was her therapist back in L.A. she had seen for years when she realized she needed to deal with her father, not being a father to her and so on. If it hadn't been for Dee she wouldn't have studied psychology. But first she'd have to call back her mother before she alarmed someone. It was still 10 minutes before she would have to see the first student.

"What happened?" Sharon asked picking up immediately.

"I, uhm I got a call from the Dean."

"Seriously? That's the best you came up for as a lie? Lauren what happened?"

"I had a panic attack", Lauren answered reluctantly.

"How many of those did you have?"

"I didn't really count them. 5 maybe", she tried.

"Lauren", Sharon said in a motherly don't-lie-to-me or yourself tone.

"Perhaps rather 8."

"8 in 4 weeks? Lauren you need to get help."

"No kidding huh?"

"Don't play this down!"

"I am not but it's a sensitive matter. I'm going to be at uncle Bill's next week, I'll make an appointment with Dee ok?"

"Okay."

Sharon didn't bring up Gull again. She feared she could cause another panic attack. So she negotiated meeting with Lauren once she got to L.A. and of course inevitably Lauren asked about the date again.

"I went out with Douglas McGregor", she finally admitted.

"I already know that mom. How did it go?"

Sharon sighed and Lauren thought, oh no. "It's not working", her mother said.

"Why?"

"Different worlds."

"What? Did he turn out to be from Mars?"

Sharon had to laugh at that. Lauren had the rare ability to make her laugh, even if she didn't feel like it. "No, it's just too complicated."

"Meaning it's non of my business?"

"Rather, I don't want to talk about it."

"Uh I don't speak Sharon Raydor anymore. If I'm this bad at deciphering what you really mean I need to come home", Lauren said and caused another smile on her mother's face.

When Sharon had ended the call with Lauren she called Sergeant Gabriel their Liaison with the DA's bureau of investigation to ask who was in charge of the investigation into Mr. Gull's untimely death. He promised to find out and have the investigator call her with details.

The rest of the day was uneventful and so stayed the next week. Other than the arrival of a white Lily every day she didn't hear from Douglas, well she probably did but she didn't bother reading the letters coming with the flowers. On the upside the conference room smelt of lilies, which was kind of nice. He would stop sending them and with the flowery scent dissipating the memory of her encounter with Douglas would faint too.

It was Monday when she arrived later than usual at the LAPD. She had stayed very late last night and had decided to come in around 10 a.m. She was greeted by Andy's sinister glances she had gotten used to, the inevitable murder board, still displaying the dead woman draped on the stage. Tao came up and wished her a good morning.

"Captain, the theatre called. They ask if they could get back the dress our victim wore."

Sharon blinked "You mean the costume is one of theirs?"

"Yeah, they need it for an upcoming production."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think it is going to be a very strange interpretation of Alice in Wonderland."

Sharon rose a brow "Uh, Lieutenant Tao, would you please call them back and ask who has access to the costumes and what role it was designed for. Lieutenant Flynn?" she asked turning towards him.

He had put his macho attitude "Yes?"

"If it isn't too much asked would you mind assisting Lt. Tao and bring in everyone with access to the costumes? We need to establish a connection with one of them because one of them is our murder."

"Really?"

She hummed and went away to her office. Later that afternoon she made a deal with a man who had been rejected by the victim and put him away for life. She had sent everyone home, even Rusty who got to eat pizza with Buzz, while she finished paperwork. Her phone rang and she picked up without looking at the name.

"Raydor?" she clipped.

"Gee Capt'n are you in a bad mood?" an all too familiar voice with a southern twang sounded through the phone.

"Chief Johnson", oddly enough when Brenda Leigh had transferred to the D.A.s bureau of investigation she assumed position of Assistant Chief. "what do I owe this unexpected call?" Sharon asked leaning back in her chair.

"Sergeant Gabriel told me you wanted to know who's investigating the in custody death of William Gull."

"And I got lucky?" Sharon replied a long absent glimpse of Darth Raydor crawling to the surface evidently showing in her voice. Brenda Leigh Johnson of all women!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"What do you want to know Capt'n?" Brenda asked.

"Do you know if it was an accident or an execution?" Sharon asked. She needed to know, because there weren't that many people who would want to see Gull dead.

"So far there's nothin` indicating something else than collateral damage", the Chief answered rummaging throw her notes on the case.

Suddenly the rummaging stopped "Hey wait a second, why do you ask? Why would someone off him in prison?"

Sharon cleared her throat, "Chief I'm interested what happened there. This man nearly killed my daughter!" she said pointedly. Brenda Leigh Johnson had an ability to make Sharon furious. And Sharon didn't feel patient right now. It was more like feeling not like herself and that threw her off even more and made her more responsive to Brenda's infuriating behavior.

"Oh right", Brenda said in a small voice. "Uh well, I could send you a copy of the file if you like?"

Sharon hummed "That would be nice. If you can make the time the team would be happy to see you."

"I uh, I'll try. How are things going?"

"Ok, we wrapped up a case today and we have DDA Rios around a lot."

"Oh my that woman!" Brenda spat.

"Yeah that's what I thought too", Sharon gave back with a small chuckle.

Brenda laughed too "And that from you".

"Things change."

"Yes, yes they do", the Chief said and a long thoughtful silence fell before she said "Listen I have to go. It was nice talking to you Capt'n, bye!"

"Greetings to Agent Howard, bye Chief!"

When she got to her car she found a familiar figure leaning against it. It was only a matter of time, she thought. Silent treatment didn't carry the message for Douglas obviously. She saw the tension in his body, he was waiting, like a lion ready to jump at his prey and that was exactly how she felt like, like prey, when his eyes found her.

"Sharon did you receive my messages?"

She crossed her arms above her breasts "I did, I didn't read them", she said in her *Darth Raydor* voice. She didn't like this situation. It was almost like being stalked.

"So you didn't talk to my PR-Manager."

"Why would I? You said you'd take care of the pictures, you failed to do so. I don't like being played Douglas and I made a decision."

"You mean behaving like a teenager who didn't get what she wanted?"

She closed some of the distance between them and shot him an intimidating glare "This is no game Douglas. The boy is in danger, if his whereabouts are compromised. I could barely keep the DDA from putting him into witness protection this summer. I thought I made myself clear when I told you I can't have reporters digging into my personal life and you obviously didn't take me serious."

"That was why you should have called my PR-Manager she made sure they only got your name and wanted to talk about strategy with you. I said I couldn't just hand over your number and I didn't want to freak you out so I said I'd tell you and you'd call her."

She shook her head "There is no need for further damage control Douglas. This", she motioned with a hand back and forth between them "is not working." He straightened and pushed himself away from the car getting nearer to her. He had to cast his glance downwards to meet hers, although she was in her high heels. He laid his hands on her shoulders "Are you really telling me it's not working because I'm rich and get media attention?" he asked holding her gaze.

Why hadn't she put up her hand and prevented him from getting so near? She had her pulse in her throat when she answered silently "No, it's not working because you aren't capable to accept that I have a life that's not to be messed with. Money isn't going to solve everything and you can't buy me."

"Given my past could you understand that I need a little time to adjust?" he asked looking deep into her eyes.

"I could, but when kids are involved there are no second chances", she whispered, telling him with her eyes she was sorry.

Douglas nodded thoughtful and then just leaned down to place a light kiss on her lips and just left, walking down the street and away out of her life.

**Hi everyone! This is a rather short one. Let me know what you think of Douglas` departure, if you like. Could use some hints for where to go from here. I'm not sure where to take this relationship, but my feeling says these two aren't done. **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Hi! I read all your reviews and will keep the suggestions in mind. **

**For the guest who assumes Douglas was involved in the theatre case. Mr. Gull is a serial killer the squad caught with Lauren's help in my first story Hollywood murder. The theatre murder couldn't have been committed by Mr. Gull, he was already in prison then. Sorry for the confusion.**

**I promised sometime earlier there would be horses aaaand here we go!:-) This chapter is mostly Sharon, Rusty and Lauren and we get to meet Bill Raydor, Jack's brother who looks like Edward James Olmos in my mind. **

„I need a vacation", she had told Taylor and surprisingly he didn't fuss about it. He saw the exhaustion in her eyes when she had come to his office. She would take Rusty and meet her daughter at a ranch on the outskirts of the city.

It was Friday afternoon when they left the rush of city traffic behind. Rusty hadn't yet decided if he was exited or horrified by the prospect of spending a week on a horse ranch. He had talked to Lauren who was already there and she was probably exited enough for both of them. Sharon had bought him a pair of Timberland boots.

When they drove up the driveway, there were horse pastures up to the street with wooden fences. "It looks like Southfork", Rusty observed and Sharon had to laugh "Don't tell Bill that."

"Is he like Jack?"

"Who?"

"This Bill, he's his brother right?"

Sharon smiled and hummed a no. Rusty waited and asked, when nothing else came from his foster mother "Information?"

"Uh he's hard to describe you'll have to meet him."

Sharon was nervous she hadn't seen Bill in years, based on a very nasty fight about Jack, whom Bill always knew better. Sharon hadn't been able to admit he had been right and he couldn't overlook it, so they hadn't spoken for several years. Yet he accepted her request to spend some time at his ranch when she called him yesterday.

Sharon had never run from something in her life but she needed some time to sort things out and she found horses always had a calming effect on her. She glanced sideways at Rusty who was still taking in the place. Sharon parked her car in front of the house that looked like a Victorian villa. The stables were off to the right. And schooling area was located behind the stables. On stable rested against the big indoor school. There was a second indoor arena slightly smaller and 3 Outdoor arenas. It was a big Ranch giving over 120 horses a home and serving as a riding school as well as a stud farm.

Bill gave lessons and had competed in show jumping and dressage till he deemed himself too old. His horses still were well known for their success. Sharon asked one of the stable boys where they would find Bill and kept Rusty close to not lose him, when she walked through the stable aisle. On the left and right were box stalls occupied by horses of all heights and colors. It smelled of hay, straw and well horses. Rusty didn't find it reeked. He thought it would be smellier but it wasn't, actually he liked the smell. The walked out of the stable and over to one of the arenas where several jump were placed. He saw a whitish-gray horse and recognized the woman on it. It was Lauren, although she wore a helmet, he could tell it was her. She had traded her usual attire for dark green breeches, black leather boots and a black polo shirt. In the middle was a broad shouldered, bulky man with salt and pepper colored hair in jeans and a checkered shirt.

"More elevation", the man barked. Sharon didn't say anything and just leaned on the fence and watched. Rusty followed suit. The man had to be Bill, he was definitely gruff. Lauren gave the horse an impulse with the reins and caused the dappled grey horse to carry its neck slightly higher. "Good now take the oxer and then left hand over the blue upright."

Rusty asked Sharon silently which obstacles were meant. She pointed to a white-green colored obstacle who's highest pole was eyelevel for Rusty. His eyes widened and he followed Sharon's hand to find the blue jump she pointed at to be as high.

"She's really doing that?" Rusty asked wide eyed.

"Seem's so", Sharon said eyes fixated on her daughter. She knew better than to point out the insanity of this. Lauren hadn't been on horseback for too long to be doing this after only some days of training. And yet, her daughter made it over both obstacles without touching a pole.

"Enough for today", barked Bill and walked over to where Sharon and Rusty stood, while Lauren let the horse trot and letting the horse chew the reins lose in her hand so it could stretch its neck forward and downwards.

Sharon bit back a comment on demanding too much too fast from Lauren and greeted him, before she introduced Rusty. Bill shook hands with Rusty and drew Sharon into big bear hug, holding her close "Good to have you here", he mumbled before he released her. She smiled at him and Bill's gaze fell on Rusty "So you've never been on a horse farm huh?"

"That's right."

"Hey Lauren, why don't you show him around?" he called out over his shoulder to Lauren, who had gotten off the horse and led it to them. "Ok, I need to pack Midnight away, come on Rusty." Rusty reluctantly left Sharon with Bill, while Lauren explained him enthusiastically how to behave around horses, like never to walk close behind one.

Sharon followed them till they vanished into the stable, while Bill scrutinized her. She looked exhausted and still as beautiful as ever. Jack had been an idiot to fuck this up. "I want to you show you something", he said and walked off to another stable. Sharon followed him and soon they walked down the stable aisle. "You remember the young stallion I bought in Europe?" he asked. She only hummed. Bill stopped and opened a stall door "Well he grew", he simply said and stepped aside so Sharon could see the horse. The horse had grown up. He was black with white feet and a white star on his forehead.

"He's gorgeous", Sharon mumbled and went into the box stall. The broad breasted horse drew nearer and flared his nostrils taking in Sharon's scent before he buried his nose in her hair in the crook of her neck. Sharon gently pet his neck. Bill smiled "I want you to ride him. His rider quit last week and I haven't found someone who can do it yet. His name is Tender Heart but we call him Teddy."

Sharon turned so Teddy had to draw back his head, but rested it on Sharon's shoulder again. "Bill I haven't ridden a horse in years."

"It's like bicycling you don't forget such things and Teddy seems to like you. Start with riding out. We'll find a nice western horse for the boy too. Shar you didn't plan to come here for a week and not ride, did you?"

Sharon caressed the nose of the stallion with her hand and said "Oddly enough I didn't make any plans. I just wanted to get away from the city."

"And?"

"What and?"

"What else?"

"Let's just say I need a vacation."

"Is it Jack?"

She hummed a no, "Haven't heard from him in months."

"Me neither. Last time he told me he was staying at your place till he found something else."

Sharon nodded "He was there for some days and vanished like always."

As an uncomfortable silence stretched between them Lauren and Rusty had groomed the mare, Lauren had told him it was a mare, and walked around. Between explanations of the place Lauren asked. "What happened that Sharon take's a week off?"

"I think it has to do with this McGregor guy."

"What went wrong?"

"I don't really know after that weekend she just stopped talking about him, although he still sends a white lily every day."

Lauren hummed. She had really hoped her mom would find a fresh new romance that lasted longer but on the other hand she had known McGregor meant trouble. She made a mental note to find out more.

"Listen uhm I haven't told mom, but I got a job offer from the UCLA and I consider taking it."

"You mean like moving back to LA?"

Lauren nodded. "Are you moving in with us?"

"As funny as it might be, I don't want to share a bed with my mother indefinitely."

They both laughed, before Lauren told him with the job offer came on campus housing.

"Sounds cool."

"Are you going to take the offer?"

"I'm not sure. I'll meet with them and see if I like it there."

"Can you like wait with this decision?"

"Uh well, I already talked to the dean and the Professor I'd be working for."

"Does Professor Phillips know?"

Rusty remembered Lauren had talked a lot about her Professor over their phone conversations. Lauren seemed to give his opinion much credit.

"He suggested me for the job", Lauren explained. She sighed and shook her head "I don't know I'm not sure about moving back to LA."

"Why?"

"Uhm, well I … I have panic attacks since Mr. Gull caught me. I'm not sure living in the very same city where that happened is good for me."

Rusty looked at her. She seemed so composed. Hell she just jumped over an obstacle that was about his height. "Panic attacks? Seriously?"

Lauren hummed. "I thought it was temporarily but it isn't. I'm going to see my therapist twice a week and go for group therapy also twice a week. For as long as I'm here."

"You are a psychologist. Why do you need to see one?"

"Because sometimes you need a different perspective and a therapist can help you to look different at things. Than sometimes you need to talk about stuff you think you can't tell anyone else."

"But you weren't the sick one, Gull needed to see a doctor, not you."

Lauren smiled she had kind of looked forward to set the purpose of therapy straight for Rusty. Her mom had told her how opposed he had been to psychological treatment. "And you are right but sometimes we need help to move on from things sick people do to us or we might get sick ourselves. Right now my body is telling me I need to deal with what Mr. Gull nearly did to me."

Falshes of memories of Gull's victims, severely mutilated women, crossed her mind and Lauren felt her heart beat accelerating and the now familiar dizziness. She stopped abruptly and sat down against a stable wall. Her body started to shake, although she tried to take even deep breaths. "Hey Lauren are you ok?" Rusty said panic in his own voice.

"Panic attack", was all she managed and felt her head spinning. She thought she might pass out this time, and fully laid down on the ground. She didn't hear Rusty anymore only her blood rushing in her hears. Rusty ran outside furiously looking for his foster mother. He called out for her and only seconds later Sharon, shocked by Rusty's panicked voice dashed around the corner. "It's Lauren", he called out and ran back into the otherwise deserted stable. Sharon and Bill followed him and found Lauren with still shaking hands and white as a sheet on the ground. Sweat had broken on her brow and she had her eyes still closed. "She said something about a panic attack", the boy panted as Sharon hunkered down next to her daughter and took her hand. Lauren wasn't passed out since she held on tight to her mother.

"Honey you need to breathe slowly, ok", Sharon said soothingly and started to stroke her hair gently. The effects of the attack subsided after 10 minutes and Bill helped Lauren up and led her to the main house.

Lauren didn't want to talk about it, but she wanted a shower, so they all parted for their Rooms and would meet again for dinner. Bill showed Sharon and Rusty the way before he went to his office. Rusty had big room that was furnished with hand crafted light colored wooden furniture. He was amazed. It wasn't luxurious or something but cozy. There was a broad windowsill perfect for sitting on and reading. A fluffy dark blue carpet decorated the wooden floor and the curtains had the same blue color and the bed picked it up too.

Sharon's room was held in dark wood, beige and deep red. It was vintage but artful and cozy. She had slept here often when times were different. It was strange to be here again, strange and comforting at the same time.

She took a quick shower and traded her suit for blue jeans and a fluffy brown cashmere v-neck. Lauren had opted for a similar combination but with a wide gray pullover. Rusty grinned at the similarities obvious when they entered the kitchen, where Bill had brought him, when he found him lingering on the stairs. Rusty got to meet the housekeeper an also gruffy elderly looking woman in her late fifties with a grey hairdo that kept her curls in a shape that reminded him of the British Queen. She was stumpy but very fast. She worked like a whirlwind, greeting Rusty only briefly. Bill told him this was Helga. She had an accent Rusty couldn't place but probably not American or British. She placed a coke in front of the boy without asking what he wanted. Lauren smiled at Rusty while she waited for Helga to see Sharon, who walked over to the table. Bill read the newspaper and was oblivious to his surroundings.

"Lauren would you please set the table", Helga asked finally looking up at the table. A shrill cry escaped the housekeeper and she rounded kitchen counter and Sharon was pulled into a bear hug for the second time today. Bill only looked up briefly from the newspaper and smiled. Lauren and Rusty set the table. Helga had reluctantly let go of Sharon and started to babble nonstop about how thin Sharon looked, how beautiful and how tired and how long she hadn't seen her, spiced with words from a language Rusty couldn't decipher, till Lauren had pity and explained Helga grew up in Bavaria, Germany. "She still speaks Bavarian dialect sometimes."

Rusty nodded and whispered "That explains a lot", the odd pronunciation for example and later the meal roasted pork with bread dumplings beer sauce and coleslaw salad.

"No wonder you can't drop any weight!" Lauren said to her uncle.

"Why would I want to drop weight?"

"It would be good for you!" Sharon said already done with her slice of Pork. She had eaten the dumpling and half of the meat and given the rest of it to Rusty who was always hungry. Lauren was still fighting to eat more. She didn't feel like eating but knew she had to put something in her stomach. Bill had unashamed taken a second helping, much to Helga's delight, who had already eaten and was cleaning up the kitchen. Lauren and Rusty helped the housekeeper albeit her protest. Bill grumbled something about getting up early and left. Sharon wanted to check her mails and Lauren took Rusty to show him the rest of the buildings. When they walked out through the backdoor of the kitchen a tall reddish brown dog ran towards them. Rusty flinched "That's Hudson, my uncle always had Irish Setters", Lauren explained petting the dog. The ran around them wagging its tail. Lauren raised a finger and said "Sit", so that Hudson sat down in front of her.

"You can caress him if you want" she told Rusty, who hesitantly held his hand out to the dog. Hudson sniffed it and put his nose under Rusty's hand who started to stroke over the dog's head. "Well if that isn't a new friendship", Lauren observed. The dog followed them on their tour. "Hudson was with Hank the whole day. Hank is Bill's stable master and they brought some young horses from one pasture to another and Hudson checks that none is left behind, when he find's a horse left back or injured he ran's to Hank and takes them there."

"Wow, cool. Is he like, special trained?"

"Yeah, my uncle promised to teach me how to do it. I never understood how he managed to teach the dog not to try to herd the horses but just show people where a horse is."

Bye the time they got back to the house Hudson had practically adopted Hudson and followed him upstairs. "Lauren, what do I do?"

"You tell him where to sleep either in your room or you tell him off", she explained and walked away to her room.

Rusty eyed the dog who had laid his head to one side as if to ask for permission to come with him. Opening the door to the room he turned and motioned the dog in before he closed the door. He looked around and made a decision. He pointed at the carpet "Go there Hudson!" he said and in answer Hudson only looked at the carpet. Rusty sighed and walked over to the carpet and hunkered down to pet a hand on the ground "Here, Hudson" he tried again. The dog trotted over to Rusty and when the boy said "Down", the setter finally laid down, only to walk over to the bed an lay on the ground in front of it when Rusty had fallen asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

„Sharon I'm still not sure this is a good idea"! Rusty called out clinging to the saddle horn of the western saddle he was sitting in. The horse carrying both walked totally relaxed behind the black stallion Sharon was riding. Lauren rode next to him on a brown gelding. She smiled "Rusty if you would just relax a little bit you would probably enjoy this far more. Buttercup has never ever lost a rider and he's accustomed to beginners so please relax and hold the reins how I showed you."

He tried and held the reins between his hands making a fist leaving the pinky from holding the reins and closing his thumb over it. Watching Lauren and Sharon easily handle their horses and using these nutshells for saddles, English saddles, as Lauren had pointed out, he couldn't figure how they did it. There was so much to think about. Sit up straight, swing your hips with the rhythm of the horse's movement and keeping your knees to the saddle while keeping your toes parallel to the horse and your heels the lowest point of the rider, don't push your legs forward and probably a whole lot more he had already forgotten. It was more difficult than driving! He blew out a breath and tried to do everything they had explained. They went slow and enjoyed the late autumn afternoon. After Bill had made Rusty help him with fixing a tractor in the morning Lauren had introduced him to Buttercup, a buckskin colored gelding. She had shown him how to groom the horse and how to put the gear on. After that she had given him a quick lesson on how to ride before she had mounted the bay gelding one of the stable boys brought her.

Sharon had spent the morning familiarizing herself with Teddy, who was very well behaved for a stallion and enjoyed the extensive grooming Sharon gave him. In the afternoon she lunged him to see how his temper was when he had a saddle on. After that she mounted and worked with him, while Lauren took care of Rusty. When they met to go on a short ride out she fought back a smile when she saw Rusty's furrowed brow.

"Lauren is right you might enjoy this if you stopped worrying."

Sharon stared to point out sights along the path they took, a small lake where they used to swim, a tree where Lauren and her brother had built a tree house years ago. As Rusty stopped trying so hard to do everything right he actually relaxed and could enjoy the ride. They went throw a small wood and came out to ride up the path to a little hill, where a massive old oak braved the weather. "We call this Oak tree hill", Lauren explained.

"Seriously?" Rusty gave back raising a brow.

"Hey we were kids and you always knew where to go when we had our secret meetings."

"Secret meetings?"

"Yep, my brother, my friend Phillipa, her brother Robert and me always met here had picnics and changed horses, we even built a small completion ground on the even plateau on the other side and competed against the other kids. There was a farm not so far away and the kids from there and some of the riding students of uncle Bill were jealous frankly mean spoiled brats. We taught them a lesson or two."

"You fought with them?"

"What? Oh no! We did our own tournaments here and showed them we were just better."

Lauren grinned remembering those summers.

"And of course they came home covered in dust several times because every once in a while a horse threw them off. And we never knew what stunts they pulled until years later", Sharon added with a laugh.

"Wow, you had a wild side", Rusty mocked not impressed at all and Lauren only rolled her eyes. She looked ahead and saw another Rider atop a chestnut colored horse. Sharon could make out a man but otherwise they were still too far away.

"That isn't one of ours", Lauren observed, meaning the horse. The rider had also opted for English gear and wore dark blue breeches and riding boots. Lauren saw a jumping saddle, also black. It was a well trained horse and she saw a whiff of silver gray hair of the rider and Rusty said what she thought. "Uh isn't that this McGregor guy."

Sharon squeezed her eyes and hummed. "Unbelievable of all people he has to be the one owing the _Leed's Ranch_ now", she said. They could just turn around and go back, which would result in nagging questions by Lauren so she just advanced further up the hill.

Douglas had glanced at the approaching riders. He met Bill Raydor's riders from time to time and was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar figure leading the group. She looked stunning all in black from the boots, to the breeches up to polo shirt. He remembered Bill's stallion from several dressage competition and wondered how good Sharon was if Bill gave her his best horse. She had pulled her hair into a bun but some strands had escaped and framed her face. Behind her she noticed her daughter and the boy. He contemplated to turn and go home. That would have been stupid. Never give up a good opportunity. He hadn't given up on winning her back. "If that isn't an interesting surprise", he greeted.

Lauren waved a hello and Rusty just nodded.

"Douglas", Sharon greeted finally stopping Teddy.

"I didn't know you were into horse riding", he said wanting to get over the awkward moment where no one ever really knew what to say.

"Oh I didn't have so much time recently. You didn't mention your ranch is the old Leed's Ranch."

"I never got to show you perhaps I could make up on this sometime."

She smiled and Lauren noticed that it didn't reach her eyes.

"Perhaps", Sharon said and he and she both knew it was meant as a no. He nodded and said goodbye turning his horse around and trotting down the path away from them. Sharon turned her horse mumbling "We should go home too."

It was the next day Sharon had sneaked away in the late afternoon when the stable was alive with people preparing for lessons. Lauren and Rusty had gone with Hank to pick up some horses from a nearby pasture, so she saddled Teddy and rode out alone. Lost in thought she allowed Teddy to go in a moderate canter through the small wood they had passed through yesterday and up the hill. She dismounted on top of the hill and loosened the noseband allowing Teddy to eat some grass while she sat down by the tree. Sure it was kind of risky but she trusted Teddy enough that he wouldn't pull any stunts.

"And here I thought you'd avoid this spot to avoid me", a familiar mocking voice sounded. Teddy looked briefly in the direction of the voice flared his nostrils and decided he wasn't interested in the chestnut horse and its rider. Sharon looked up to find Douglas dismounting his tall chestnut gelding.

"I didn't think you'd still be here", she admitted.

"So you would have avoided me?"

"Of course. I don't think these awkward moments yesterday should be repeated anytime soon", she said but didn't get up to flee. She had tried to run from him by coming to the Ranch and where had it gotten her? Right back to meeting him. He sat down next to her.

"You finally took a vacation?"

She hummed.

"To get away from me?"

She hummed again.

"Didn't work out so well, huh?"

She hummed yet again.

"Aren't we vocal today", he said only slightly sarcastic.

And Sharon had the nerv to answer that with another hum.

"Are you going to do this the whole conversation through?"

She shrugged "I could. It wouldn't stop you talking would it?"

"No it wouldn't. I miss you."

She laughed, it wasn't a friendly tone "Douglas we only had three dates in 2 days hardly anything to miss."

"You left quite an impression."

Sharon wanted to answer but was interrupted by distant thunder and some raindrops falling on her. With an "Oh no" she jumped up and caused Teddy to lift his head. She fastened the noseband again and mounted. Douglas followed suit "Sharon you'll ever make it to Bill's Ranch before this starts. My stable is nearer. It's too dangerous to ride in this weather."

Sharon glanced at the fast darkening sky and the increasing amount of rain. Even she didn't want to admit it, he was right. The old Leed's ranch was closer. After a moment of hesitation she nodded "Lead the way."

Douglas trotted down the path and accelerated to canter as soon as the path was level again. Teddy was alert but trusted Sharon, so he didn't panic and followed the chestnut gelding at a controllable pace. Soon they were riding through heavy rain. And barely made it into Douglas stable before the wind picked up and thunder and lightning were added to the storm. Sharon groomed Teddy who got to occupy a free box stall. Soon the stallion was happy with a cooler rug on his body and some hay to eat. A stable boy had taken Douglas horse so Douglas had time to watch Sharon who was wet to the bone herself taking care of the horse first. When she watched him eat Douglas laid a hand on her shoulder "He's fine for now, come on we need to get you some dry clothes."

She followed him reluctantly to the main house, which he had built new from the ground. Sharon remembered the old house and had to admit the new one was better. It was big and modern and what she could see from entering it wasn't uncomfortable. The entrance was held in light gray the ground tiled in a black and white checkerboard pattern. Light gray carpet patches made it cozier. Although cozy didn't really apply to the vast entrance hall with the broad white perron. It had a landing from which two stairways led up to the gallery on each side. The Gallery showed built in bookshelves, paintings and even the occasional wing chair graced the house. Here the decorater had opted for dark blue, Red and green, while the floor was made of milky wooden parquet. "I need to call Bill, he'll be worried", she said dripping water on the tiles."

"I'd say you take a hot shower and I'll call Bill. You can't get away before this is over anyway."

Sharon looked out of the window. The sky was dark with rainheavy clouds and a storm bowed the trees and bushes with every blow. She only hummed acknowledging he was right.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Hello everyone. Those who want Douglas gone might be disappointed. I'm not ready to let him go so soon. Due to the first reviews to this chapter I decided to put a warning here. There will be implications of violence. **

Douglas urged Sharon to take a shower to get warm, while he called Bill. Reluctantly she followed Douglas upstairs to the master bedroom, located on the right wing of the house. His bedroom, she thought as she followed him through focusing on his back and not the room. She felt uncomfortable. This was beyond weird. She felt set up again and that was totally insane, since he couldn't control the weather. He showed her to the adjoined bathroom and grabbed a towel before he left her alone. She closed the bathroom door and heard him talking to Bill while she slipped out of her clingy wet clothes.

"Bill, this is Douglas McGregor. I called to tell you I found your sister in law and your horse out on that hill with the old Oak when the storm started."

He sighed in relief on the other side of the phone "Thank god. Are they both ok?"

"Wet but otherwise they are fine. I'll return both of them once the weather clears up. But I don't think that'll happen tonight."

"Me neither. Tell her Lauren and Rusty made it home safe. Uh besides you haven't confirmed my invitation to my annual party."

"Really? When is it again?"

"Next week, Saturday. Douglas it might be good to meet the neighbors. Knowing your neighbors comes in handy once in a while."

"Consider me in. I thought my assistant had confirmed already", Douglas said thinking if he had even received an invitation before he had rescued Sharon and Bills precious horse.

"Good see you tomorrow then. Take good care of Sharon."

"I will", he said and ended the call mumbling to himself "Oh I will", while he discarded his phone on the bed and peeled out of his clothes and towel dried himself. He rummaged through his walk in closet to find some sweatpants for him and pajama bottoms for Sharon. He picked a dark blue microfiber pant for her, a t-shirt and a grey v-neck, as well as socks. He slipped on a fresh pair of shorts, a white shirt and black sweatpants and socks. She would be more comfortable if he didn't dress up too. When he returned to the bedroom he heard her blow drying her hair. As the noise of the blow drier died he knocked gently on the door. She opened and peeked out only her head showing. He couldn't help but tease "I already saw you naked, you know."

"We wouldn't want to get you the wrong idea of me being in your bathroom or bedroom for the matter."

He smiled and handed her the clothes. Sharon knew that smile, he hadn't given up yet. It was kind of endearing that he wanted her even after she had set an end to them. After all he had walked away and hadn't bothered her since their encounter at her car. She closed the door and slipped into the clothes that were a little loose on her thin small frame. She had managed to get her hair halfway representable. "Well if he still want's me without any makeup I should probably reconsider", she mumbled to her mirror image and went out to Douglas.

Her heartbeat accelerated when she noticed him checking her out and what was in those eyes made her uncomfortably aware of several things. For one she wasn't wearing any underwear and she was still in his bedroom, not to mention he was stronger than her as well as the fact that her body liked all those things and what they implied.

Douglas smiled noticing her cheeks flush under his gaze. Not a lost cause. She was adorable with her wild wavy hair and slightly discomfort about having her armor stripped. He had learned that underneath the perfection lay a soft person. It was like she had two personalities, she had to be the strong woman in her job or she'd never have gotten where she was and she only let on glimpses of the other softer self. The storm had washed away most of the personality-armor and left the woman behind Captain Raydor unprotected. She blinked and he knew he had looked too long.

"Bill said Lauren and Rusty made it home safe too", he said.

She smiled relieved "Good. When is he going to pick me up?"

"I'll bring you back when the storm is over. It's too dangerous right now", he said and with a glance through the window she had to accept that.

"Are you hungry? My housekeeper isn't here today but I haven't had any dinner and planned to cook anyway."

She nodded "Sound's good", grateful to leave the bedroom. 30 minutes later they were eating a filet beef steak and some salad. While Douglas had prepared the steaks Sharon had made the salad.

"Before it get's awkward again, why don't you tell me how you got Bill to give you his best horse?"

Her eyes widened. "Bill has lots of good horses."

"But Tender Heart is his most precious, believe me."

She shrugged "I was there when he brought him to the ranch. He was totally traumatized by the flight and wouldn't let anyone touch him. He was two years old then. I had just separated from Jack and I needed something to occupy my mind. I helped train him although I never rode him. I couldn't afford the risk, with the kids and so on and then I didn't have the time to go to Bill's anymore."

"But you were accustomed to English riding. I saw you and you hold yourself like you did more than the occasional ride out."

She smiled "I competed for years in dressage and show jumping, but mostly dressage. Sometimes it felt like the contact with these strong animals kept me strong. It's encouraging to be able to have a horse follow your will and it's amazing when they decide to really work with you."

Douglas returned the smile, compassionate about everything she did, was it work or a hobby and that was admirable in itself. When they had finished dinner they relocated in the living room and settled on the couch each with a glass of red wine. The plan was to watch TV when the electricity went out. "Here we go", Sharon mumbled, flinching when lightning struck the night sky, lighting up the room in eerily cold light followed by rumbling thunder.

"I should check the main fuse", he said getting up "You stay here, I'll be right back."

"If this was a horror movie that would be your last words", she said and he could hear her smile. He went off only to return with a flashlight and the news that one of the fuses was short.

Sharon moaned "Seriously?"

Douglas smiled in the dark and nodded "Yes."

"I know what you think and that's not happening", she shot back sounding definite.

He accepted the challenge without another comment. "So what do we do now?" he asked sitting down next to her.

"How about going to sleep?" she suggested.

"It's barely 8.30 p.m. Sharon."

She hummed "Anyway, where do you have planned for me to stay tonight?"

For that he had an easy answer "You get my bed and I'll bunk down here."

She didn't fight it. She wanted him as far away as possible. "Ok, then would you bring me up there?" she got up.

"Would it get awkward if we talked more?"

"Exactly!"

He nodded and led the way with the flashlight, the lighting struck again when they were on the stairs and again when they reached the bedroom door. He opened the door for her and decided they had tiptoed long enough around each other. He let her in first and followed locking the door behind him, shoving the key under a dresser next to the door. Sharon turned so fast her hair flew with the movement. "What are you doing?" she demanded sounding like the police Captain once more.

He crossed the room fast and was close to her only a moment later and when he pulled her against him "Did you really think I'd let such an opportunity pass?" he growled and Sharon felt a jolt of panic. She couldn't speak, couldn't find the right words to tell him off. Part of her wanted him but her common sense told her that a man who didn't respect a "no" was dangerous. She put a hand against his breast and pushed. She managed a "Don't" before he sealed her lips with a hard demanding kiss. She fought and they moved through the room. When she felt a wall in her back she wished she had paid more attention the first time she was in here. _I should have known better_, she told herself. She tried to push him away but he was stronger and pinned her hands against the wall. Her protesting sounds were muffled and only made him deepen the kiss. She considered biting down on his tongue but could make herself to. She felt her body reacting not rejecting what he offered at all. Just because she liked it, didn't make it ok for him to just take her. When he finally released her lips she panted "Stop!" It sounded halfhearted, even to her. No wonder he just threw her sideways on the bed with a "I don't think so", before straddling her and pinning her hands once more. He managed to get her out of the sweater and t-shirt although she put up resistance, ignoring her "No"s she repeated like a chant. When she lay half naked under him he held her hands down. "Give me a reason why?" he asked causing her to hold still, startled by the question.

"Because I said no!" she answered furious.

"Answer truthfully, didn't you enjoy being with me?" he asked his voice treacherously calm.

"That's not the point."

He got down to look her directly into her eyes, so she could make the fire in his eyes out even in the dark. "That's exactly the point Sharon. You don't allow yourself to simply enjoy. And till you learn this you have absolutely no credibility when it comes to yes or no. You said you trusted me, and you will trust me to know what you need" he commanded, while he had taken to hold both her hands with one and she felt the familiar click of cuffs and cold metal on her wrists. She swallowed gaze still locked with his. Some part of her got off on that but her common sense screamed insanity to her wish to obey. "You will let me take care of you", he said in his commanding deep voice. "Tell me you really don't want that and I'll retreat, but don't lie to me or yourself Sharon."

She swallowed. It would be smart to lie but she couldn't bring herself to lie to him and herself "Open the cuffs", she pleaded instead of telling him off. He growled "Don't avoid a direct answer, that's not working. Can you say truthfully you don't want what I offer?"

She swallowed again. She thought about lying, it would be so much easier to lie now, but she couldn't. "No", she admitted her voice shaky, barely above a whisper. Much to her surprise he released her hands before he took her.

Sharon woke hours later the storm still raged outside. How could she have let it happen again? _I said no, didn't I?_ she thought. She had said "no" to so much things tonight that had been done to her body anyway and her body had betrayed her. She had come and wondered how things that seemed so wrong feel this good at the same time. She wasn't prudish but this was new to her. She would count the bite marks in the morning, he had certainly left some and to her "I told you not to mark me", he had only said "You said you can't be seen marked at work", before he had left another mark at her inner left thigh. Her body ached. He had been demanding, bending her body how he wanted her. She needed to exercise more.

An automatic mental whack told her she shouldn't think about getting in a shape to handle his demands. On the other hand she did enjoy it and he hadn't been too rough. Not too rough? I'm thinking about counting bite marks! That's rough! And god his endurance, he had managed to wear her out that she thought she might faint near the end. He had brought her to the edge several times not giving her the release of an orgasm till her body was shaking with exhaustion and anticipation. She had fallen asleep shortly after he had finally allowed her to come with him, this time she really had been too exhausted to get up and to the bathroom.

Not sure if her legs would support her she got up now and walked to the bathroom on wobbly legs. She felt a little better on her return, less dizzy. When she got under the covers and rolled onto her side, facing away from him he moved and soon she felt him caress her back, drawing gentle circles with one hand, before he drew her against his body so they lay spooned against each other. She felt his hand warm on her bare stomach, and his face buried against her hair, when he whispered "You aren't going to run from me again, are you?"

Part of her screamed _run, run as fast as you can! _Another part, the part that remembered Gavin telling her she was too pessimistic about men, told her it was good to be wanted. She should give him a chance. If she could figure out how to keep Rusty safe she would give it a try.

"I'm not agreeing to a relationship either", she answered. There were other answers to be sought before she could even consider that; like the question if she could serve to his carnal desires and if her body would survive this treatment, how to keep Rusty safe and how to juggle work, Rusty and a relationship.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**This chapter is dedicated to Rusty and Lauren and therapy :-). **

Thankfully the storm hadn't caused any severe damage on the farm. Some trees and lost limbs but otherwise everything was fine. "Has mom called?" Lauren asked.

"Not yet but Douglas said last night he would bring her and Teddy over. What are your plans for today?"

"I have an appointment in the city", Lauren explained while Rusty only shrugged. Bill would find something to do for him doubtless.

"You aren't driving yourself", Bill said matter of factly.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you had a panic attack, again! What if it happen's while you are driving? Lauren you will not do that. Your mother would agree if she was here."

"Well she isn't and I doubt you can spare someone to drive me."

"Rusty has a driver's license! He could drive you there and bring you home again. He hasn't to do anything anyway!" the gruff statement sounded like it was settled. Rusty beamed at the prospect of driving.

"Let's make a deal", she said looking at Rusty, "I'll let you drive, if you join my therapy group today."

"No way!" he shot back.

"Why not? It's allowed to listen in if nothing leaves the group. I could use some support here", Lauren said searching for Rusty's eyes. It would really help her if someone was there when it was her turn to tell why she was in therapy again. She had been there twice already but hadn't told the group why she was there, only that she had panic attacks. Dee had told her she needed to tell the group at some point and taking Rusty with her would mean he had a chance to observe how therapy worked and she would have some emotional backup.

"Hey we could go earlier and stop by the university. I'd like to have a quick talk to someone there, and we could have Lunch somewhere? There's a nice Thai restaurant nearby the Campus."

"Yeah, whatever. Just for the record I've not decided if I go to the group therapy session with you today."

"Okay. I'll get ready and then we're good to go."

He waited for her in the car while she was at the university. When she came out she had some papers with her and had a broad grin on her face when she got back into the car. She held up the stack of papers she held "This is my contract with the university. I just signed it."

Rusty didn't really know what to say "That's great, right?" he asked confused.

Lauren nodded enthusiastically "Yes, especially since they decided to give me more money, because I waited and they thought I might have other opportunities so they just upped my annual salary to 62 000 Dollars. Let's go to the Thai restaurant and I'll tell you how it went."

When they were seated at the Thai restaurant and Lauren had talked Rusty into ordering an appetizer plate for two with variations of several appetizers she started to explain in detail how she went into the dean's office and asked about the contract they had promised to have ready for her to read today, when she was told there had been I change of plans.

"And I thought, ok that's it, wasn't meant to be. But surprise surprise they said they had seen some footage of a lecture I held in London right after I left in October. So they offered me a lecturer position instead of a postdoctoral assignment."

"Did you sign right away?"

"I read the contract and then signed it. It's a standard contract."

"So you'll held lectures at the university?"

Lauren nodded still smiling "Yeah I will, isn't that great?"

Rusty nodded "I guess."

"Ok you are not so enthusiastic today, or I'm a little over the top."

He shrugged "Probably both?"

Lauren smiled and calmed down a little "Sorry it's just such a great opportunity."

She decided to let him eat. He was curious about the meal and they ended up ordering green thai chicken curry and red thai chicken curry It was spicey and sweet and tasted very good. When they ate some Coconut ice cream from form looking like a half coconut Lauren decided it was time to try getting Rusty to come with her to the group session. She had called Dee to ask if it was ok. She had allowed it, but Lauren would have to ask the group if it was ok for them first.

"Have you made a decision whether you want to accompany me later?"

"Uh Lauren I'm not sure. Uhm well, how does this work?"

"First I'll have to ask the group if they are ok if you joining them for today. Then we gather in a chair circle. When there is someone new in the group there'll be a short round where everybody said who they are and why they are there but you only have to say as much as you want. Then the therapist usually asks if someone has something to say or we pick up something we didn't finish talking about last time."

"And I wouldn't have to say anything if I don't want to?"

"Exactly."

He hummed and Lauren wondered if this humming habit that ran in the family rubbed off on him.

"And it would help me Rusty", she added. The boy searched Lauren's face and found her green eyes showed a little bit of fear. "I… I don't like to lose control and these attacks take control from me."

It was 3.50 p.m. when they arrived at the office building where Lauren's therapist had her practice. They met Dee in the hallway. Lauren's therapist was a tall slender woman with dark brown wavy hair and green-brown eyes. On the aquiline nose rested elegant frameless glasses. She wore a black cashmere turtleneck, a deep red skirt and leather boots. Rusty liked the fact that she had a back pack slung over one shoulder. Lauren introduced Rusty to Dee, who was Dr. Dorothea Ritter by full name.

"Nice to meet you Rusty", she said a kind smile on her face. He liked her voice it was smooth, calm. They went down the hallway where the group room lay. Rusty was asked to wait outside for a moment, since Lauren had to ask the group if he could join. It didn't take long till Lauren came out and said with a smile it was ok to come in. He walked into the room and noticed the pictures on the wall held mainly in blue colors. The floor was polished dark wood and the chairs picked up the floors color. There were two empty chair in the circle. One next to Dee and the one next to this. After that, there sat a woman with a curly shoulder length reddish brown bob. She was in her mid 50ies. Next to her sat a stocky white haired man, the same age, after him came a small young woman perhaps 20 with long dark blond hair and glasses, then there was a dark haired man in his 40ies his features haggard and another woman, slender, blond, in her 40ies and then the circle closed with Dee. Rusty sat down next to the therapist and Lauren took the seat next to him. He saw Lauren transform. She folded her legs under her and sat in a yoga seat on the chair. She looked a lot more vulnerable. He instantly disliked the blond next to Dee. She seemed utterly disinterested. The redhead next to Lauren looked like a hunted deer.

"Since we have a guest today I'd like you to say who you are and why you are here in your flashlight", she glanced at Rusty "Flashlight means to tell short how you feel or how your day has been." She held up a small ball she threw to the haggard man.

"Hi, I'm Michael and I'm here because my wife left me and took our kids. Today I feel like crap. I had difficulties with a colleague and couldn't solve it", he threw the ball to the white haired man, who turned the ball nervously in his hands, but said silently in a deep voice "Hello, I'm Frederickkk, I'm here because I have burnout. Today I feel good. I took the dog for a walk and I talked to my son who's currently in Europe."

He gave the ball to the young woman who told her name was Cathrine, but that she wanted to be called Cat. She was there because of compulsive thoughts and that she had had a good day because she was on vacation and had finally found a flat to move out from home. She gave the ball to the woman next to Lauren. Her name was Sybilla and she was there because of depressions and stress. She had a hard day because her husband had been diagnosed with his 2nd spinal disc disorder which meant he'd have to have another operation. Lauren gave her a sympathetic look and Sybilla gave the ball to the blond woman next to Dee who just shrugged. "Ah ok, I'm Ireen. My day, huh I didn't do nothing really", she sounded bored out and she didn't continue but handed the ball to Dee who smiled "We still have people left Ireen", she said gently and handed the ball to Rusty with an encouraging smile.

He took it and with it he breathed in deeply in order to stay calm. He had made up a phrase but didn't really remember so he just started "Uhm hi, I'm Rusty and I'm here for Lauren, uhm thank you for giving me permission to be here today."

He got a smile from Sybilla and a soft "You're welcome", when he gave Lauren the ball. She sighed and smiled sheepishly "Hi, I'm Lauren and I'm here because I have panic attacks. Today I signed a contract with the UCLA and I'll be working there from January", explained and her smile broadened for a brief moment showing how happy she was. Then her face went serious again. She handed the ball back to Dee. "Okay I belief Lauren want's to tell you something", Dee announced and Rusty saw Lauren reluctantly unfold her legs and place them firmly on the ground. She started her voice lacking its usual confidence. "I told you that I had panic attacks and today I'd like to tell you why the attacks started."

Lauren breathed in deeply and Rusty noted her hands shaking slightly. "About a month ago I was taken hostage by a serial killer."

Everyone in the room went very still even disinterested Ireen held very still. All that was heard was Laurens deep breathing. "I was working with the LAPD to help catch him and he nearly killed me."

"Was it the Hollywood Ripper?" came from Michael. When Lauren nodded, Sybilla let out a silent "Oh my".

"Are you working for the police?" Cat asked frowning.

Lauren shook her head "I was a consultant on the case. I'm a profiler, as you would call it."

"Really?" Michael sounded surprised as if he couldn't believe the elegant young woman with the gorgeous auburn hair could be a psychologist analyzing killers. Lauren answered with a weak smile and a nod.

She cleared her throat to get the lump away. She knew she had to talk about this, address the fear.

"We had just found out who the unsub was and had even taken precautions in case he turned on one of the investigators, in fact if it haden't been for those precautions I wouldn't", her voice broke and she had to swallow, tears finally falling "I wouldn't be sitting here now." She cleared her throat again before she told them how he had waited for her and had made her drive to her mother's condo. How she lulled him with talk, so he didn't notice she was taking a longer route, to allow the detectives to get there first and how she had felt so calm while talking with William Gull about his murders and his motive. She told them how she had been rescued by the team when they had entered the flat and how her feet finally gave away back then and how she had sat on the ground crying against her mother's shoulder. She was shaking all over while she told what had happened, tears running down her cheeks, but she didn't feel like she'd faint.

The first to speak after Lauren had finished was Ireen, who only shrugged and said "So, what's the fuss? You survived."

Rusty glared at her and spat, "When was the last time a serial killer wanted to kill you?"

Ireen didn't respond but stared uncomfortable into the ground, while Rusty continued "This guy was like butchering his victims, cutting out intestines and so on."

"Uhg that's creepy!" Cat mumbled.

Michael chipped in "Was it the Hollywood Ripper?"

Lauren nodded in answer, which brought a silent "Oh my" from Sybilla.

Frederickk cast an empathetic look at Lauren and asked "Why was your mother there? Didn't the police get her out of the flat in time?"

Lauren shook her head "My mom was the lead investigator on the case."

Frederickk nodded understanding. Rusty sensed everyone except Ireen seemed incredibly empathetic he wasn't surprised when Sybilla asked "And what was the most frightening part?"

Lauren had to think about it. "I uhm, I think the prospect of my body being sprayed over a room. I knew how I would be killed and it would have been very violent", she answered her voice thin and strained with tears.

Dee looked at Lauren, readjusting her glasses "You should tell who you thought was in danger before you were taken", she said.

Lauren frowned but understood "Ah, yeah. According to my profile and some letters the killer sent I assumed he was after my mother for his 5th victim."

"Why did he take you instead? Did he like tell you?" Cat asked curious.

"He did. He was copying the murders of Jack the Ripper and I fit the age of the last of the Ripper's victims better than my mother."

"So it wasn't by chance that he targeted you?" from Michael. He was the analytic type.

"No he really intended it to be me", Lauren said.

"So you made a mistake in profiling him?" Michael asked.

"Yes" Lauren answered very silently and ran her hands through her long hair. She felt her body shaking even more. "I made a mistake, but I thought the whole time how glad I was it wasn't my mother", she admitted her voice barely audible. She held her hands to keep the shaking in check. She failed.

Rusty suddenly understood it wasn't that Lauren was afraid for herself. It was still nagging her that she felt responsible for Gull's obsession he had shown about Sharon. He wanted to reach out but didn't really know if she'd appreciate it. He didn't know if she'd fall apart. He didn't want anyone to see it when he was hurt so he was totally taken aback by her dishing her heart to a bunch of people she didn't know.

"Hey if you hadn't found out it was Gull they might have never found him!" he said.

"But I didn't calculate the risk. What if it hadn't been me in the car? What if it had been mom?" she asked casting a teary look at Rusty.

"You can't live and always second guess yourself", Frederick said.

Dee chipped in "Have you heard Frederick?"

Lauren nodded but Dee knew it hadn't really sunk in. She knew on a conscious level Lauren knew what Frederick had meant but knowing and really believing were two very different things.

She got up "Ok I've introduced duplicating here already?"

When everyone nodded but Rusty she said "Ok, I'll say what I think Frederick want's to say."

She walked up behind Frederick and laid her hands on his shoulders and said "Lauren, it's ok to make mistakes", she said and asked Frederick if this was what he meant and he nodded. Lauren nodded and whispered "Ok", while Dee sat down again. Dee asked everyone's opinion if it was ok to make mistakes. Everyone thought so, even Ireen mumbled an "I guess", with a shrug.

After that they talked about Michael's problem at work, before the session ended. Dee asked Rusty, "What do you think?", while Lauren received a good bye hug from Sybilla.

"It was kind of interesting", Rusty said.

Dee nodded, Lauren had said the boy was pretty withdrawn, "You are welcome back anytime", she said and handed him her card. She knew it wouldn't be ideal to treat Rusty, if he decided to come back, but Lauren said he needed help and Dee had the feeling the boy wouldn't even consider trusting someone who didn't have the trust of people he trusted. He shoved the card in his parker's pocket. "Thank's, uhm is she going to be ok?" he asked and Dee could see his concern for Lauren. She smiled reassuring and nodded "Eventually. She made a big step today." Rusty nodded and walked over to Lauren.

Her eyes were red and puffy "How about we grab a milkshake from a drive in on our way home?" she asked, still a little shaky. He nodded and the headed back to the ranch.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Lauren noticed her mother was absentminded. When they had returned from the city the other day she had been sitting in the living room nursing a mug of tea staring out of a window.

"She's been doing that since she returned and showered" Bill said silently walking by Lauren scrutinizing her mother. The young Raydor hummed, not knowing what to make of that. She hadn't seen her like this for quite some time.

"Did McGregor return them?"

"In person, would you believe it? He's coming to the barbeque."

"Did you invite him?" Lauren asked raising a brow. She remembered her uncle grumbling about some ass buying the Leed's ranch some time ago.

"I thought it might be a good idea, after all he sheltered Sharon and Teddy."

"I hope you didn't say something like the invitation must have got lost or something."

"Nah, made him think he was invited and hadn't confirmed. Those big business honchos get invitations all the time."

Lauren chuckled "You are impossible. Want me to give Helga a hand? I remember her being not so good allowing caterers in her territory."

He nodded "Yeah, Hank's girlfriend has the current guest list. See that Helga doesn't order more than we can possibly eat. Involve the boy somehow. I think Sharon need's some time to clear her head."

Lauren hummed and her uncle marched off. She casted a last confused glance at her mother and went to find Hank's girlfriend and the guest list.

The following afternoon Sharon had taken over some of Bill's afternoon lessons, so he could supervise the guys that would put up the tents for the party.

The Girls were Bill's advanced dressage class, 8 girls raging from age 14 to 17 and they had told Sharon they had put a show together for the Party and wanted to show it to her so they had gone into indoor school so Bill wouldn't see them, because it was a surprise. Right now they were in the middle of it and tried to half pass in collected trot in pairs and meet in the center of the arena before parting again. Sharon had sat in the stand and just watched for the first go through then had altered the pairings to have the horses with the same movements paired, which made it easier for everyone to hit their marks. The choreography was well done and not too difficult and not to easy.

"Hey there", a male voice said and she flinched feeling hands on her shoulders. The familiar scent of Douglas` aftershave filled the air. She turned and looked up at him. He was wearing riding gear so he probably had come on horseback. "Douglas, why are you here? I thought you'd be out of town till tomorrow."

"Deal didn't work out so I got back early and thought I'd pay you a visit. I hoped to coax you away for dinner."

She shook her head and gestured at the girls "I can't, they need help and then I have to help with decorating the tents."

He sat down next to her "I thought you were on vacation or are you avoiding me again?"

She huffed "No, I've just already made plans. You can't sweep in and expect me to wrap my life around you and your whims! If you really want this you have to accept some ground rules, like don't try to control me." Her attention went back to the horses and their riders in front of her "Rachel try to gather your horse a little more, Kayla you need to speed up a little, otherwise it looks fine. Try the half-pass again and then we're good for today ok?"

They managed to get it right and let the reins loose afterwards, allowing their horses to stretch their necks. She looked at Douglas "You are still here."

"I thought this conversation wasn't over."

She got up and walked outside followed by Douglas. "Would you care to explain why you are so furious?"

"Because I don't like unannounced visits and I have no time today Douglas. I'm still recovering from the other night. Oh and by the way, that was too rough. I'm not sure I have a cocktail dress that cover's up the hickeys and marks you gave me. I told you not to do that and I mean it", she had wandered off not really caring where she went and ended up at a pasture fence.

He followed her and said "Ok, perhaps I got a little carried away", he granted.

"A little? Douglas I'm not 25 anymore my muscles are still sore and I'm not sure I haven't strained something."

"Didn't you enjoy it?" he asked frowning.

"That's not the point. What one likes and what's possible has to meet somewhere in the middle. You have to be way more careful with my body", and my pride she added in mind. What she said was "And you can't lock me in, ever again."

He drew her in an embrace and Sharon automatically put her hands on his breast to keep some distance "I have no intention to let you run from me again either. You are harder to persuade than any woman I've ever met."

She smiled "It's called stubbornness."

"So do I get a chance if I promise to behave better?"

She looked into his eyes and felt the intenseness going to her core. He really wanted her. She was not sure but she hadn't been sure about a man in decades, probably never.

"There's Rusty. He needs to stay safe", she said softly.

"We tread lightly and I won't force you to accompany me to official events till the boy has made his appearance in court."

From a safe distance Lauren and Rusty, who had been checking some deliveries for the party, observed as Sharon was kissed by Douglas. Lauren had pulled Rusty behind a barn to watch. They hadn't been close enough to hear the conversation but had gathered by Sharons furious gestures she wasn't too happy with him and then it had changed to what the saw now.

"I don't like him", Rusty said.

"I'm not sure yet", Lauren said and frowned. She remembered Gull telling her Douglas McGregor always got what he wanted. She also remembered her mother telling her it was not happening and yet she was kissed by this man, most interesting, she wasn't the active part. He kissed her and she merely allowed it. Lauren made a mental note to pay more attention regarding this. When Douglas and Sharon parted Lauren and Rusty hurried off so they wouldn't be seen.

**I know this is rather short. But I will bring in the whole team to the party, next chapter :-) and Douglas is still a jerk.**


	13. Chapter 14a

Chapter 14 a

Yes I'm superstitious :-). I admit this party is a little like Dallas but I just couldn't resist.

Friday late afternoon a package arrived for Sharon. From what Lauren saw it was a dress box, in light green bound with a satin bow. Sharon sat in the dinette and stared at the package on the table.

"Afraid it attacks you?" Lauren asked. She leaned against the doorframe of the rear exit.

Sharon flinched "No, I'm not sure I want to open it."

"Could it be a present from a special someone."

Sharon nodded humming a yes before she sighed.

Lauren went into the room "If you don't open it you'll never know", she said and simply opened the bow. Sharon jumped up, knowing Douglas it could be everything from lingerie over a dress to cuffs. She firmly put a hand on the boxes lid.

Lauren frowned at her mother "Mom?"

"Don't be so nosy", she said causing Lauren to take a step back. "Well one of us has to be or you'll sit here all day."

Sharon lifted the lid slightly relieved it wasn't something kinky. She opened the box fully. Among light green silk paper was a dream of a dress made of dark green layers of chiffon. Sharon stared at it. A small folded paper sat atop the dress, which she took in her hands and opened it.

_Since I'm responsible for your dressing problems,_

_I had this made for you._

_Douglas_

She shook her head and glanced at the dress she lifted it and found it to be long sleeved cocktail dress. Under it was lacey lingerie matching the color of the dress. "I should have known", she mumbled at the lingerie. Lauren peeked inside the box. "This is the kind of please undress me underwear", she observed. "Doesn't he like what you wear?"

"Manners Lauren, manners", Sharon warned gently putting the dress back into the box.

"Will you wear it?"

"I'll try it on and decide then."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"Nosy again?"

"Sure!"

Sharon shook her head and wandered off to her room with the box in her hands and Lauren at her heels. She waited for her mother to come out of the bathroom to see the dress. Sharon came out with the dress put on and asked her close the zipper in her back. When Lauren did she saw a light bruise right under her left shoulder blade. And another on the right located just below the back, looking like a hickey. Lauren stepped back and Sharon could see her staring at her in shock. "What is it?" she asked suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

"You have some bruises on your back", Lauren said toneless. "Where did you get them?" she continued.

Sharon turned and Lauren immediately noticed a faded mark from the cuffs where the sleeve had rode up a little.

"I hate to ask, but is it non of my business, hell non of my business, difficult and you don't want to talk about it with your daughter, or is it difficult and you don't know how to talk about it?"

Lauren had never thought of her mother into this kind of pleasure and by the uncomfortable look on Sharon's face she gathered this was new to her too. Her mother had seldom lied to her so she hoped she would be honest now too. She cocked her head sideways asking with her eyes.

Sharon gathered breath several times to answer before she said. "It's non of your business."

They looked at each other for several long moments before Lauren nodded slowly "Okay", she finally said and added in mind, for now and left. Trying on dresses suddenly wasn't funny anymore.

Sharon should have known. Lauren had always been the most observant of her two children. She was the first to know when Jack had a relapse even if Sharon tried to hide that from the kids. Lauren knew by watching her. She never really paid attention to Jack after he had a verbal fallout when she was 14 and said in one of his drunken fits that he and Sharon only married because Sharon was pregnant with Lauren. That was day Lauren decided he didn't matter anymore. He only mattered as a problem to be dealt with when he hurt her mother. She went to her room, where her own dress waited. It was dark blue flowing empire dress, with spaghetti straps. Her friend Phillipa would come tomorrow to help her with her hair and make-up, since she was a make-up artist. Lauren had been really looking forward to it but now her anticipation was tainted.


	14. Chapter 14 b

Chapter 14 b

**So here's the party :-).**

Rusty spent the better part of Saturday morning helping Helga with preparing snacks and showing the caterers where to go and where to put their stuff. At first Lauren had helped but she had to go over to the stables and help with the horses since everyone was in a hurry. Sharon helped the girls prepare their horses for the surprise show in the evening. Around noon Laurens friend Phillipa arrived. She was a tall young woman with bright blue eyes, black wavy hair and a winning smile. Lauren and her friend vanished into Laurens room and Rusty felt a little lost. Hudson appeared out of nowhere when he was standing in the entrance hall of the main house and didn't really know what to do or where to go. The dog rubbed his head against Rusty's leg and the boy petted his head absentmindly, when the door suddenly opened and a bald man followed by a delicate dark haired woman and a slim guy who reminded Rusty of Cpt. Jack Sparrow without the dreads. The bald man wore frameless glasses and his condescending glance fell on Rusty "Do you know where we can find Sharon Raydor?" he asked.

"She's over at the stable, why?" Rusty gave back frowning.

"We need to speak to her", the woman said gently, and smiled "Would you mind and fetch her?"

"Okay" Rusty said walked over to the stable followed by Hudson to find Sharon braiding the mane of a horse.

"There are some strange people who want to talk to you!"

"Strange how?" she asked climbing from the stepladder she was standing on.

"One is an arrogant bald man, and the other guy looks like Jack Sparrow and the woman, well she seem's nice."

Sharon rolled her eyes and sighed "No!" she knew exactly who it was. Rusty saw how she went to Captain Raydor mode in an instant and marched past him out of the stable towards the main house. She pulled out her phone tehn decided against calling Douglas. He just didn't understand that she didn't need that! She didn't need a stylist or her own hairdresser and a makeup artist! She marched over to the house, while Rusty stayed behind and decided to go for a walk with Hudson. He needed some time away from this nuthouse. When Sharon reached the main house ripped the front door open to find Douglas three employees gathered in the middle of the entrance hall. Stanley turned and smiled at Sharon "Darling there you are."

She startled to a halt. He liked her. He had seemed like one of the people who didn't like anyone really. She swallowed the harsh words she had wanted to throw at them and took a deep breath after all they were just following orders. She closed the door decidedly and marched over to them. "What are you doing here?"

"The boss said you had a party tonight", Brian, the Jack Sparrow hairdresser started.

"And he said you probably could use some help to get ready for the party", Stanley continued giving her a once over. She was still wearing her riding clothes and was dusty from grooming the horses. "And by what I see you could use help."

Monica chipped in. "Mr. McGregor thought you might not have had time to make an appointment at a hairdresser and thought you'd save some time if we helped you get ready", she said most diplomatically.

"Thank you but that's not necessary. I'm perfectly fine and I don't need the dress Douglas sent either. Should I bring it down so you can give it back to him?"

It was Monica who showed the misery she had put them just in "Oh please just let us do our job, he want's this done. You know how he is."

Sharon crossed her arms "I start to get the idea but you are not staying."

When she had finally made them leave she hurried upstairs to knock on the door of Laurens room. After a muffled "Yes", she opened the door and got in. Lauren, in a bath robe, sat on chair and had her hair put on rollers by Phillipa.

"Girls I need your help!" she announced.

"What happened?" Lauren asked frowning.

"I just decided I won't be wearing the dress Douglas sent and I don't have thought about an alternative."

"Ok seriously, what happened?" Lauren asked again frowning deeper.

Sharon fidgeted searching for right words. She cocked her head sideways then straightened and made a grimace "Let's just say I want to make a point."

Lauren nodded still frowning "Uhu and how we may help you?"

"I thought I could borrow something from you?"

"My other dress is the black chiffon with the low neckline mom I don't think you want to wear that", Lauren said, knowing her mother wouldn't like to show off her bruises but got up, she had an idea "But hey don't you have some vintage stuff still here?" she asked walking past her mother crossing over to her room.

Sharon and Phillipa followed. When Sharon had to sell the house years ago, due to Jacks gambling, Bill had given them shelter and some of her things, like valuable vintage clothes had stayed there. Phillipa watched the Raydor women standing next to each other examining the walk in closet hands at their hips. She smiled, remembering how much Lauren was like her mother, and how much she didn't like to admit that. When Lauren was younger she had desperately tried to be different in some ways but since she had spent years on the east coast she seemed to feel more comfortable in her skin and wasn't so desperate to differ anymore. Lauren took a black cocktail dress with a lacey topcoat. "Try this", she suggested.

"Short sleeves" Sharon said and hung it back. "Wear a cardigan", Lauren said and shoved it in her hands.

Sharon tried it, it didn't look good. So didn't the colorful puff sleeve dresses dating back to the 80ies she tried on afterwards. The lady tux she had bought in the 90ies was too loose on her thin frame. "But I'm not eating enough", Lauren clipped and drew out a black skirt. "How about this one?"

"I don't have the blouse for this anymore", Sharon said but jumped in it anyway. It was a empire waist trumpet skirt.

"That's gorgeous mom. We just need a top to go with it."

"What about your crème colored silk blouse?" Phillipa suggested, pretending not to have noticed the bruises on Sharon. The blouse worked well with the skirt and Sharon would wear them with her black manolos so they were good. While Sharon jumped under the shower Phillipa finished Lauren's makeup and put the big curls she had created into a loose up do. Rusty came into Sharon's room when Phillipa shaped Sharon's hair with a curling iron and Lauren, already fully dressed sat on the ground in front of her mother manicuring Sharon's nails who had suffered from the extensive horse grooming.

Rusty had taken a shower too on returning from his walk with Hudson, who followed at his heels even now. He had donned his suit with a bright blue shirt and had a checkered tie in his hand "Do I need to wear a tie?"

Lauren looked up at him smiling "No, uncle Bill hates those and if the host doesn't wear one you don't have to either."

Rusty let out a breath of relieve that made everyone chuckle. Bill's party was famous for its no tie needed policy, which gave the women the opportunity to dress up and allowed the men to go more casual and enjoy themselves.

Bill appeared in the door wearing a black suit and a simple white shirt. "Are you going to make it on time? The guests will arrive shortly and Sharon, should I be surprised about the quadrille the girls practiced for forever?"

Sharon smiled. "I assumed you knew."

"I know everything that happens on my Ranch."

"Please try not to show it, they really wanted to surprise you."

"Are they good?"

Sharon hummed "You trained them well, they'll do great."

Bill's weathered features cracked into a smile "Rusty why don't we go and see if we can help hank at the grill."

Rusty nodded and followed, Hudson at his wake.

Phillipa said "Since when is Hudson so attached to foreigners?" she knew the dog to be rather solitary.

"Boys and dogs", Sharon said.

"I think he senses Rusty need's a friend", Lauren offered. When she had been miserable during her first night, having had a panic attack and couldn't go back to sleep Hudson had jumped into the bed and snuggled up to her, which he normally wouldn't do.

Phillipa gave Sharon's hair loose locks and did a makeup of warm grey eyeshadow, peachy blush and peachy lipstick, while Lauren's green eyes were rendered golden and navy blue with subtle gloss. Phillipa had opted for a short black dress, smoky eyes and goldish-rosy gloss that went well with her long black waves.

With a last critical glance in the mirror Sharon turned and said "Thank you", in her smooth humble voice.

Lauren smiled at her "You're welcome", it was making peace. She had gotten over the fact her mother needed time till she'd be ready to talk about that new weird relationship or perhaps she'd need help but Lauren understood she had to trust Sharon to ask for it if needed. But she'd put McGregor and his behavior under the microscope tonight. Sharon had reclined his present and the reaction to that would be interesting in itself.

Bill had invited neighbors, his clients, students and their families, as well as friends. There was a buffet and a bar at the party tent, as well as round tables to sit at surrounding the dance floor. Outside Hank and some staff from a catering firm grilled. Hank was always happy to do that, since he didn't like small talk. Bill couldn't afford the luxury and had to mingle. He was grateful Sharon helped by rescuing him if someone held him to long in a dull conversation. She'd show up and say "I'm sorry but have you already said hello to Frank", or something like that and take him away. Lauren came up to them "Mom I have a surprise for you", she said and took her mother's hand waving through people till they reached the bar, where her whole team waited with Rusty. They waved a "Hi".

"I thought Rusty could use some people around he knows and they deserve a party", Lauren whispered. She was happy to see them and spent some time catching up on what happened during her absence.

When the band started playing Lauren asked Rusty to dance with her and Phillipa who had been introduced to the team earlier dragged Provenza to the dance floor, which looked funny, since she was taller than the Lieutenant. Sanchez took Sykes to the dance floor and one of Bill's students asked Buzz for a dance, which left Andy and Sharon.

"Do you enjoy your vacation?" he finally asked.

She hummed "Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

"Haven't we done enough of that at Nicole's wedding?"

Here we go, she thought. She had hoped her vacation would change Andy's attitude, apparently he still wanted to be an ass.

With an airy "Okay", she left him standing there just when he had made up his mind and wanted to ask her. She had found a quiet spot at a standing table nursing a glass of white wine.

"No wonder I couldn't find you searching for a beautiful woman in a green dress".

She lifted her head to find Douglas in a black suit with a deep purple shirt. "Didn't the dress fit?"

"Oh it fit just fine, I just didn't feel like wearing it and I sent your staff away. I'm capable of putting myself in a representable state Douglas and I told you not to do that."

"I thought it would be nice if you needn't mind that and could relax just a little before the party."

"And I thought you'd start to talk about such things before you do them", she didn't look at him and kept her voice cold.

"Do you ever allow people to pamper you?"

"Not if someone forces treats on me", she turned the stem of the wine glass between her fingers.

"Sharon if you want to give this a try you have to work with me here."

"If you want to try this you have to try harder to respect my rules", she gave back.

Douglas shrugged and asked "Uhm do I get a manual?"

She smirked "Nope you'll have to memorize the rules."

"What do the rules say about dancing?"

"You have to ask and then you might get lucky", she said and finally looked at him.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked and she nodded.

They had just finished their first dance when it was time for the little show the girls had put together. Hank announced over the microphone that everyone should head over to the big indoor arena and within 10 minutes most of the party guests gathered on the ranks for the indoor arena. The music a compilation of classical tunes changing according to the pace the girls showed their quadrille. They were dressed in black top hats, hair in a tight bun, a black tailcoat, white breeches and shiny leather boots.

"You can be proud", Lauren said to her uncle admiring the level of proficiency his students showed. Bill actually smiled "I am but don't tell them, it would get to their head!" After the show they headed back to the party tent and applauded the girls when they returned in their evening dresses once again.

Later when Sharon was on the dance floor with Bill Lauren appeared next to Douglas.

"Mr. McGregor", she greeted.

"Why don't you call me Douglas?" he offered.

She nodded and thought, _rather not_. "Do you enjoy the party?" she asked instead.

He glanced at Sharon on the dance floor and said "Especially the view, Doctor."

Laurens gaze wandered to her mother and she said silently "I sincerely hope you appreciate her." It wasn't hostile but she didn't sound friendly either.

He smirked "Is this the conversation where you tell me not to hurt her?"

The young Raydor only hummed.

Amused Douglas said "Aren't we a little overprotective?"

She smirked "Did you know that children of divorced or separated couples tend to be very protective of one parent? And I don't talk to my father, you do the math."

"Don't you trust your mother's judgment?"

"Problem is, I don't trust you", she answered emphasizing the 'you'.

"I thought Sharon was grown up enough to make her own decisions."

"That doesn't mean her family isn't allowed to have her back."

"And if I really think my mom need's help I tend to get very creative."

He frowned "Is that a threat?"

"No a promise and an entire police squad is behind my back", she said and left him there.

Flynn had watched them and asked, "What did you have to talk about with the jerk?" when she came over to the bar, where he drank yet another ginger ale.

She smirked, accepting an alcohol free pinky colada he had ordered for her. "I told him not to hurt her and about the consequences if he did."

The Lieutenant raised a brow "What did you say?"

"The team and I would come after him", she answered.

"So did you ever manage to ask her out?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you seemed to want to."

He just shrugged but shook his head then.

Lauren nodded, she understood. "Douglas was faster huh?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't worry too much. He pushes to many of her buttons, she won't stay with him but try not to be so antagonistic. It's not her fault you couldn't bring yourself to ask her out earlier."

"You just can't quit being the psychologist huh?"

She shrugged smiling apologetic "Sorry". That made him smile.

"Wanna dance?" he asked putting the ale aside. She hummed and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor.

It was late when Lauren finally said good bye to the team. Buzz and Flynn would drive them back to the city. Rusty had taken Hudson and gone to bed quite some time ago and she hadn't even seen her mother leave the party. Her uncle sat together with some of his eldest friends and would probably only drag himself to bed at dawn. She had brought Phillipa to her guest room about an hour ago and went over to the house. In the entrance hall she got out of her shoes and wandered bare footed upstairs. Hearing distinct noises from her mother's room she shook her head "My mother has a more active sex life than me. How pathetic is that?" she mumbled and traded her dress for a tank and loose pajama pants. After removing the pins from her hair and the make-up from her face she crawled under the covers of her bed. To avoid the chance of hearing anything else from her mom's room she put on the TV and set it on sleep timer, so it would deactivate itself after 2 hours.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Sorry for the delay.**

Sharon had found Douglas quite attentive and gentle not only the night of the party at Bill's but during the following weeks too. He didn't get as rough as in the beginning, also he was still demanding.

Lauren would start lectures in January and took the time to plan her removal and had her stuff sent to Bill's where she'd live. She would have a small flat on campus if she didn't want to go home during the week but she had decided she didn't want to be alone every evening and wanted to work more with the horses so it was a good idea. Rusty spent some nights there when Sharon went out to a date with Douglas and Hudson was attached to Rusty's side whenever the boy visited.

It was a relatively cold evening, when Lauren brought Rusty to her mother condo where they'd gather for dinner. It was a quiet time for Major Crimes. Mostly paperwork had to be done and some follow up investigations on old cases. Lauren had picked up Rusty from school after another appointment with her therapist. She didn't have the panic attacks anymore, at least not to the intensity that she'd nearly faint. Sometimes her heartbeat accelerated but she could manage better than in the past, so she wasn't afraid to cause a car accident if she got behind the wheel herself. Much to Rusty's disappointment, he liked being able to drive again. Lauren had pity today and allowed him to drive to the condo.

"Seriously that's the last time I let you drive!" Lauren exclaimed as they got out of the elevator.

"What? That light was green when we got there", Rusty protested.

Lauren shook her head and opened the apartment door only to suddenly hold out her hand to stop Rusty from going in and retreated fast, closing the door silently.

"Wha…" Rusty started but was shushed by Lauren who urged him back to the elevator, only when they were in the elevator she spoke again "We need to get out of here, someone has been or is in the flat."

Rusty rolled his eyes "That's probably your dad!"

"I don't think so" Lauren said gravely getting her phone out. When they stepped out of the elevator and Lauren had service again she tried her mother and only got voice mail. She didn't bother leaving a message and called Flynn instead.

"Flynn", he answered on the third ring.

"Hey Lieutenant this is Lauren", she said dragging Rusty in a run back to the car, "I just was at my mom's flat with and someone has messed with the condo."

"Messed how?"

"Someone turned the living room upside down and smeared 'Home sweet Home', in blood red on the kitchen counter!" she said as they got into the car.

Flynn got agitated at once "Where are you now?"

"We retreated back to the car. I don't know if whoever was it is still in there! I couldn't get my mother on the phone."

"Drive around the block till a patrol car arrives", he said and hang up.

Flynn grabbed his desk phone and ordered a patrol car to the Captain's flat before he ran to the break room where the team had gathered for pizza "Someone broke into the Captains flat!"

Everyone jumped up at the news, pizza suddenly forgotten. They were in record time at the Raydors flat just barely after the patrol car. Lauren and Rusty had just parked the car. Provenza called the Captain for the fourth time already and barked something unrepeatable on her mailbox before he redialed and finally got through.

"Lt. Provenza, what is it?" she asked breathless.

"You might want to get home Captain, we have a situation here", the Lieutenant grumbled.

He heard her take in a sharp breath before a faint "What happened", followed.

Provenza looked around what used to be the Captain's living room. "I think you need to redecorate", he said and then filled her in on what Lauren and Rusty found on coming home.

"Where are they now?" she asked.

"They are with us, all safe", Provenza assured her in a gentler tone.

"I'll be right there", she said and hung up.

She was sitting on Douglas big desk her hand on his breast keeping him off. She had just seen her phone vibrate. She had had it on vibration and forgotten to reset it to ringing after an interview earlier that day. If it hadn't fallen out of her jacket pocket while they kissed she wouldn't have seen any calls.

He had gone very still and casted a quizzical look her way knowing something happened with the boy again. She buttoned up her blouse.

"What happened now?" he asked, not able to count the times she had to go early or getting a call in the middle of dinner, theater, sex. It was either work or a Rustymerceny, how he secretly called problems the boy thought were important enough to disturb her or he had caused. Sometimes he assumed the boy did things like leaving his keys at home deliberately.

"Someone broke into my condo", she said faintly, huge eyed, and he noticed how her armor crumbled. Her lost look made him want to put her glasses back on. It seemed like her glasses transformed her into LAPD Captain mode while the vulnerable woman came to the surface when she took them off.

She slid from the desk gently pushing him away. "I need to go", she mumbled gathering her purse.

"Should I drive you?"

She shook her head "No. I'll call", she said and rushed from his office.

Half an hour later she stood in what had once been her living area. The couch cushions had been sliced open, the couch stuffing ripped out partially everything scattered around the living room. Prominent on the kitchen counter glistened "Home sweet Home" in deep red. A quick test had confirmed it was human blood. Further lab tests would follow in hope to find out more. Everything was dusted for prints.

"Who did you piss of enough that they would do this?" Flynn asked.

"I bet that would be a very long list", Provenza grumbled.

"If you mean Sharon's long career as head of FID the question would be why do that now. And more interesting, why haven't there been any signs of forced entry?" Lauren provided.

Sharon's glance wandered from her daughter to the writing and placed her hands on her hips "That's a very good question", she said lost in thought.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Sorry it took me so long to update. RL is quite demanding lately :-). As usual thank's for your reviews :-)! **

It took hours till the scene was cleared and Rusty and Lauren had given their statements. They were allowed to gather some clothes. Lauren had talked to Bill who offered his place for Sharon and Rusty to stay. Rusty had been uncharacteristically quiet during the whole ordeal and Lauren noticed how he stared into the ground most of the time. When they arrived at the Ranch late that evening even Hudson wasn't able to lighten the boy's mood. Sharon was beside herself too. She had been in full Raydor mode during supervising the crime scene techs and her team but once they settled in the car she sighed and took of her glasses and Lauren saw her strong mother's armor vanish. She noticed the glistening tears in her eyes.

Sharon felt lost. Her home had always been a safe sanctuary for her and now this bubble of safety was shattered. After the financial stunts Jack had pulled forced her to sell the house to allow her children to go to college, barely enough had been left to buy her condo. She had been able to start over there, Ricky and Lauren had been able to go to college and she had even been able to detangle herself fully from Jack financially.

She sat on the bed of the room she had occupied during her vacation week. What was even more important was the fact she had crashed here when she had made that hard decision, the decision to sell the house, to give up on the attempt of being a family that included Jack. It had been harder on her than on the kids. They had given up on their father years ago.

It probably meant Rusty didn't take their relocation as hard as she did. She had noticed he was quiet but he had a way of keeping to himself when he needed to deal with something. He would eventually come and talk to her if he needed to talk. She had learned it was better to wait till he was ready. He was so determined to make decisions for himself and was guarding that freedom so vehemently she knew he never really felt in charge of his life. He eyes fell on her phone. Douglas had tried to reach her 3 times already. At first she had been too busy at the crime scene then she hadn't wanted to talk to him while they drove out to Bill's ranch. She picked up just in time before the mailbox would activate.

"Yes?"

"What happened?" he said. His tone left no doubt he wanted a full report and she told him about the flat, how they had to wait on the forensics if anything comes back.

He had listened and then said "You know if you need a place in the city I could give you one of my suits at the hotel."

She smiled "That's nice but I wouldn't feel comfortable. Too many people would have access to a hotel suite. We have no idea if this was against me or if it has something to do with witness intimidation."

Douglas hummed "Are you going to pull Rusty out of school?"

"No, not yet we don't know enough to make any decisions yet. I'll talk to Chief Taylor first thing tomorrow about additional security for Rusty."

"Isn't that very costly?"

She sighed "It is but he'll have to admit it's warranted."

Douglas wondered if Sharon was aware that she needed extra security too. It could have been her, the intruder was after. When he pointed that out she said "I'm not the material witness in a murder trial."

"Couldn't the D.A.s office try to rush the case along?"

"DDA Rios is determined to send Mr. Stroh on death row. They need to build their case."

"I see. Are you going to be ok?"

Her smile got tired "Probably."

"I'd still like to have you closer."

"That's not just because you are worried", she made lame attempt to tease him.

"I won't deny that."

"Douglas this is serious."

"I know", he said earnestly, "I'm just trying to cheer you up."

"I'm not very responsive to flirting when my home has been wrecked by some psycho."

"What could I do?"

"Don't get mad when I tell you I can't keep the date Friday night."

"You don't want to leave the boy alone and it would be of no use to tell you he won't be alone with your daughter and Bill not to mention the big protective dog around."

"Exactly it has no use."

"Sharon you can't protect him 24/7."

"I can try and I won't have this discussion now Douglas. You wanted to help, understanding would be quite helpful."

"Ok."

"You don't understand."

"No, but I'll try. Stay safe, I'm in Europe till Friday."

"Europe?"

"Yes Tomorrow I'm flying to London, having meetings for three days, going to Germany to meet a friend and then will be coming back on Friday to meet my girlfriend, oh wait I won't be meeting her, because she'll watch over her teenage foster son."

Sharon smiled "Sorry. Once this trial starts things will get easier."

"Mhm. I hope you find that jerk who trashed up your place before that. I'll call when I'm back."

"You do that", she said and ended the call.

It was Wednesday and she had eased up a little, since DDA Rios new attempt to take Rusty away was yet again unsuccessful. Rusty was very introverted only Hudson was able to coax him out of his room and hunger. Lauren had tried to talk to him and only received one of his break outs which resulted in silent treatment for Rusty from Lauren.

Sharon was too busy trying to find whoever was in her apartment Monday evening that she didn't intervene in her daughter's quarrel with her foster son. She had taken a stack of files home trying to find whoever she had arrested and had gotten out recently, along with finalized penalties of her time in FID.

On arriving at Bill's Ranch Rusty had gone to his room. He had only given one worded answers when Sharon had tried to engage him into a conversation and had given up eventually. When she had traded her business suit for a comfortable black turtle neck and yoga pants she settled on the couch with the files. Helga provided a try with a tea pot and some pear slices unasked. Darkness had fallen when Lauren returned from her group therapy session. She stopped when she saw her mother sitting in the living room.

"Hey", she said and entered the room.

"Hey", Sharon greeted barely looking up from the file she was reading.

Lauren sat down and motioned at the files "What's this?"

"People that could hold a grudge against me", Sharon said and placed yet another file on the 'unlikely the jerk' stack.

"I see. Any news on the prints and the blood?"

She got a headshake for an answer.

Lauren hummed watching her mother. Sharon had an almost feverish attitude, absorbed in the past of her career and the people she had brought to justice on the way.

"What if it was really designed to scare Rusty?"

Sharon finally tore her attention from the report and looked at Lauren. She blinked several times before she laid the file aside and leaned back against the couch sighing "I need to do something and if it really was to scare Rusty we are screwed because we have already checked everyone who could have had contact to Stroh in prison."

"Ok. Who else could it be? A former costumer from Rusty?"

"They wouldn't have sent the threatening letter to DCFS much less know where he lives."

"But if the writer of the letter knew where Rusty lived why didn't he send the letter directly?"

"That would be a good question", Sharon said sitting up straight "Perhaps he didn't know until now or he knew and didn't want us to know or both incidents haven't been committed by the same person."

"And the guy that trashed up your place wanted to get to you and not Rusty. Mom you'll have to wait on the results from forensics. You have to calm down."

"How could I calm down, when you and Rusty could have been attacked?" Sharon gave back eyeing her daughter in disbelieve.

"You aren't so shaken only because we might have only missed the intruder by minutes you are scared because someone invaded your home and in my opinion you need to admit that and you have remember how safe you felt here. Your judgment will be clouded as long as you are like this," Lauren said calmly and got up hugging her mother for a brief moment because she didn't know what else she could do. It had always been strange for her when her mother's strong armor crumbled. Ricky, her little brother, hadn't sensed it so much back when Jack's gambling problem had brought them on the verge of losing everything or when he had been drinking before that, when he couldn't meet up to the demands of his job. Ricky had been too young to get what happened and then he had chosen not to see, because it was easier that way. Lauren had never been able to look away or not to notice. Ricky had stayed away when not knowing became harder. He rarely visited but he talked to their father whenever Jack could bring himself to call, while Lauren visited and never talked.

When she walked upstairs to her room she remembered the last conversation she had had with her father. It was late one evening when she had just been going over some term papers. She remembered only picking up because the phone showed it was her mother's landline. She remembered smiling to herself when she picked up and how a cold wave of annoyance washed over her when she heard her father's booming voice

"Lauren Mary Raydor, it's been too damn long."

"Jack", she had replied in an icy tone that resembled her mother's. Lauren had found it easier to call him Jack. She deliberately stepped out of her role as a daughter and wanted to be on eyelevel in conversations. Not calling him Dad helped a lot. Her father had always been determined to see a little girl in her, while he easily accepted that Ricky had grown up. She mentally had wagged herself to listen back then.

Jack had babbled some nonsense and just asked, when she really heard him again "How are your studies going."

"I finished my PHD back in March. Why are you calling?"

"Wanted to hear your voice," she could almost hear him shrug "wanted to know what's going on."

She hummed, slightly unnerved. Then she had realized "Wait a second, why are you using mom's landline? Are you in L.A.?"

"Yes, I'm on the court-appointed attorney's list!" he beamed.

Lauren hummed and added "Why are you at mom's apartment?"

"Because I haven't found a place to stay yet and Sharon agreed to let me stay for some nights."

"And she agreed because?"

He had huffed "Because I promised to call although I'm quite aware that you don't want to talk to me."

"Well I am talking now Jack and you better listen", Lauren had replied pointedly in cold anger "You stay away from mom. Get your sorry ass out of her flat and out of her life! And try not to trash anyone's life on your way out. And by the way I don't like I'm part of a bargain. She and Ricky may be fooled, probably even the foster kid, but not me Jack. Don't mess things up and leave before you hurt her again!" with that she had hung up on him.

She hadn't heard from him ever since and had heard the story of the stunt he pulled when her mother had given him a chance to work and how he had left again. She wondered if he was still in L.A. or if he had gone back to Vegas and she wondered even more why she was even thinking about him. Probably because she was used to see her mother in distress because of him, her distress now probably triggered past memories.

She took a shower to wash away those memories, to clear her head. She had bought some academic magazines about forensics and wanted to read them. She joined her mother in the living room fixed herself a big mug of tea and they sat and read in shared silence till bell rang. Lauren got up but before that she heard Helga waltzing through the entrance hall and open the door. "Oh my" she heard the housekeeper sigh when she got into the hall herself. What she saw in the door was Lt. Flynn and two uniformed police officers just when her mother stepped up next to her.

Sharon's gaze locked with Andy's and she saw the sorrow in his eyes. A faint "What happened", finally made it over her lips.

Flynn took a deep breath and said "It's Jack. I'm sorry Sharon."


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi there! Sorry for the delay but the flu, a horse, costume sewing and work were quite demanding. Thank's for the reviews and your patience.**

Chapter 17

Sharon nodded „It's him", she whispered. Dr. Morales draped the cover over Jackson Raydor's face again. Lauren stood next to her mother motionless. She felt strangely empty since Flynn had told them Jack had been found in his apartment earlier tonight. The police officers who had broken down the door after a call of a concerned neighbor, who claimed to have heard noises of a fight, had found Jack stabbed to death. They had called Major Crimes division after they found the number on a note in Jackson's purse.

The team had taken over and Provenza had asked Flynn to deliver the notification. The rest stayed behind to work on the crime scene Tao and Sykes were interviewing neighbors and Flynn had driven out to the Ranch. After a brief shock Sharon had grabbed a trench coat and slipped into a pair of rubber boots near the entrance, while Lauren slipped on her jogging shoes and took yet another trench from the cloak room near the entrance. Rusty came down because he had seen the blue lights and Hudson had gotten agitated.

"What's up?" he asked huge eyed glancing from Sharon and Lauren to Flynn and back.

"It's Jack" Lauren whispered, repeating Flynn's words.

Rusty frowned "Did he get arrested?"

Sharon just shook her head and hummed an almost inaudible "no".

The boys frown deepened before realization dawned in his eyes "No, no not him!" he exclaimed.

Since Bill wasn't home they had no other opportunity than to take Rusty along. Yet Sharon didn't allow him to come to the morgue. She even attempted to spare Lauren the experience but her daughter shook her head in silence.

When it had been confirmed it was Jack Lauren asked if she should call her brother but Sharon said she'd do that, so Lauren walked out to call Bill. She needed something to do. She wanted to fill the void that had spread within her since Flynn had shown up on their doorstep.

Bill was at a horse show. He wanted to buy a new horse and had agreed to meet with the owner at the show.

"Hey there", he said when he answered the phone.

"Hey", Lauren said silently not knowing how to start.

Bill knew Lauren to well not to notice her concern. She swallowed a lump in her throat and said "Jack is dead".

"What?" it was a reflex. He couldn't understand how his brother could be dead.

"He is dead" Lauren said silently.

"Wha … how?"

"It looks like he was stabbed to death."

"Stabbed to death?"

"Yes", Lauren sat down on the bench outside the morgue and sighed.

"Does your brother know?"

"Mom is calling him right now. We just identified him. Mom's team is working the crime scene. It was Lt. Flynn who notified us."

"Do you know who did it?"

"No but my guess would be someone he owed money."

Bill grumbled something about Jack being an idiot "But he had always been lucky somehow."

"Well his luck has run out. I need to call grandpa. When will you be home?"

"Around midnight", he answered already on his way to his car.

"Ok", she whispered and hung up.

Talking to her grandfather was more convincing him not to jump a plane and come over. She needed her grandmother's assistance to prevent that.

"We don't even know when we can arrange a funeral. There'll be an autopsy and it might be days before Jack's body is released."

Her grandmother had taken the phone "Darling be sure to let us know as soon as you need help. How's your mom doing? Should I call her?"

"I think she'd like that grammy or should she call as soon as she has the time?"

"Whatever you deem best sweetheart."

Lauren couldn't help but a small smile crossed her face at her grandmother's gentleness.

"Lauren, tell Sharon to call!" her grandfather's voice cut clearly through the phone; it was more of an order.

"Will do."

"Good, now go and help your mother", he said and ended the call.

Lauren turned to see her mother coming out of the morgue and sitting down on the bench. She shrugged and said, in realizing Lauren standing there, "Uh, would you mind seeing how Rusty is doing?" she asked in a tiny whispery voice.

Lauren just nodded and left knowing her mother didn't want her to see her tears. Albeit Jack had hurt her, some part of her mother still loved him and that part was grieving.

It wasn't her father's death that made Lauren really sad; it was seeing her mother hurt. Jack as a father was dead to Lauren for over 15 years.

"I can't believe he's dead", Rusty said for the third time since Lauren had joined him in the break room. Lauren kind of wished she could relate more to Rusty's feelings but she just couldn't. She saw the boy's red eyes. He had cried and she just couldn't. She was shocked and she thought nobody deserved to die at another person's hand but she wasn't sad. She blew out a breath but didn't say anything. She knew she should say something comforting but couldn't come up with words.

Meanwhile Provenza and Flynn were ordered to Chief Taylors office who had come in albeit the hour.

"You shouldn't investigate this."

"Why?" Flynn shot back already on the defensive.

"Because until your commanding officers alibi checks out she's a suspect."

Andy shook his head "Oh come on Russel, the Captain wouldn't do that. We don't need to check for her alibi."

"And that Lieutenant is exactly why Major Crimes shouldn't be investigating Jack's murder."

All three men looked up to find an exhausted Sharon standing in the door. He nodded "I agree Captain but as Chief Pope pointed out the break into your condo is probably tied to the murder, which means the case belongs to Major Crimes and that means until your alibi is verified you are not taking part in this investigation. We'll have a DA present at every interview your Detectives conduct, everything they want to do regarding this investigation has to be run by me."

Flynn's head turned red and he looked as if he was about to explode but Taylor ignored that glancing at Sharon "Chief Pope ordered that you are to take a leave during this investigation. I looked at your overtime and what I see you have plenty of overtime to take at least three to four weeks comp time Captain."

Sharon just nodded "Understood."

"Are you serious?" Flynn exploded almost spitting in Taylor's face. And before Provenza could add something Sharon intervened "Lieutenants", she just said pointedly and they bit their tongues till they were outside Taylor's office and back in the murder room.

While Lt. Provenza tried to come up with the right words to make an appointment for an interview with his boss, his partner found a seemingly endless list of names for Chief Taylor of which "pompous ass" was one of the friendlier ones.

"When do you want to talk to me about the case?" Sharon asked the older Lieutenant, putting Provenza out of his misery.

"Uh, I think tomorrow would be fine, we also need to talk to Lauren, Rusty, Bill and we'll have to ask Mr. McGregor about his whereabouts too."

"Douglas?" Sharon asked frowning.

Provenza nodded flipping through the pages of his note pad. "Yes, you know with Jack's death you are free to marry again. Mr. McGregor probably knows you would have never divorced your husband."

She nodded "I see", she said silently and added in thought _And I see why I shouldn't be part of this investigation. I'm too close._

"If you don't need me anymore I'll take Rusty and Lauren home now."

Provenza nodded casting a sympathetic look her way "We'll give you an update in the morning."

She nodded "Thank you" she said silently and turned to walk away to the pick Rusty and Lauren up from the break room. Flynn broke off his tirade and followed her with his eyes. Also she seemed relatively composed he knew from the look in her eyes, the slightly hunched posture and her silent voice, how hard she took it. He still didn't understand how this gentle, caring woman had been the wicked witch from FID for him just about two years ago. She seemed so lost since he had told her what had happened. After the morgue she fallen silent and distanced, he was worried she was in shock. He hoped keeping her away from work wouldn't be too destructive. He knew all too well to much time to think wasn't good. He'd kill Taylor if this destroyed her.

"Hey earth to Flynn!" Provenza's voice cut into his thought pushing his mind back to reality.

He turned to look at the old Lieutenant "What?" he punched.

"You wanted to set up the murder board!"

Flynn rolled his eyes, "As if you couldn't do that!"

"I could but you need to get your head back to the case!" Provenza grumbled.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Hi. So here's some family time. I'll probably write some more in this direction but I didn't want to wait too long with another update. Sorry for the lack of plot progress.**

When they arrived at the Ranch they found Helga waiting with tea and fresh triple chocolate cookies. They gathered around the kitchen table and Sharon was glad to see Rusty munch on a cookie. The housekeeper silently disappeared when everyone was settled.

Lauren was too upset to eat. Since she had heard that Chief Taylor had forced Sharon to take some time off, she was fuming.

"As if you were a suspect!" she said unnerved sipping some Earl Grey tea. "The Chief is right", Sharon said calmly "they have to do this by the rules."

Sharon continued to explain that Lauren, Rusty, Bill and Douglas would be checked for alibis too.

Lauren brooded in a corner, slightly shaking her head every once in a while. She was thinking about who could have had a reason to kill Jack. The version of gambling debts was still her best guess.

"I wonder who cosigned for his apartment", she said.

"That would be me", Bill's voice came from the kitchen entrance. He came in and Lauren noticed his reddened eyes. Albeit their animosity since jack had gone down Lauren knew Bill and her father had been very close in their youth. It was no wonder bill was grieving. Again Lauren was surprised she didn't feel sad, just empty.

"He came to me in summer, the evening he left Sharon again", he came to stand behind Sharon and laid one of his pranks on her shoulder and gently squeezed it, which was more of comforting gesture than Lauren had seen from him in years. "I helped him find the place. I wanted him gone before he could mess with Sharon yet again."

Hudson had trotted into the room and sat by Sharon to lay his head on her thigh, on the side where Bill had laid his hand on her shoulder. She stroked the Setters head feeling like she'd break any minute. It wasn't only that Jack was gone but the way he died too. She felt cold and her hands were shaking slightly. She hoped Rusty and Lauren didn't notice, because Bill probably felt her shiver.

Sharon drew in a deep breath and patted Bill's hand on her shoulder, a wordless *Thank you*. "You'll probably have to talk to my team about that", she said and brushed his hand gently off her shoulder and got up.

"I need to", she paused to gather her thoughts, "I need to make a list of what to do next.

"You should call Gavin", Lauren said sipping at her tea again. Sharon only nodded in silence and left. Rusty followed her with his eyes, concern furrowing his brows.

Bill took Sharon's now empty seat and accepted a cup of tea from Lauren and took one of the cookies from the plate. He looked at Rusty "No need to worry, she just need's some time for herself", he said after a moment and sat his round glasses on the table. Hudson couldn't quite decide who needed him more at the moment Bill or Rusty, so he sat between both, managing to put his head on Rust's thigh and sitting close enough to Bill to allow him to pet him, which always had a calming effect on Bill. When Lauren went upstairs a little while later she heard her mother's sobs muffled by the door.

After a brief thought she made a decision and went into her room to change into a black pajama quickly before she grabbed a fluffy baby blue microfiber blanky and went over to her mother's room where she knocked before she entered to find her mother sitting on the side of her bed sobbing and blowing her nose.

Lauren quietly sat next to her and drew gently circles on Sharon's back, just like Sharon did, when one of her kids needed a soothing gesture. They spent some minutes in silence, till Sharon mumbled "I just don't understand how this could happen… to him of all people", her voice was raspy from crying "he always fell on his feet."

She blew her nose and her tears subsided. With reddened eyes she cast a sideways glance at her daughter. "You aren't sad, are you."

Lauren hummed a "no". She sighed and laid her hands in her lap. "At first I just felt empty, but as usual seeing that he managed to make you miserable makes me angry. How did Ricky take it?"

"He is shocked and sad."

Lauren shook her head. "I'm sorry mom, but I just don't feel it. He had hurt you and me too often. I think I have been past the state of grieving for years now. I'm sorry I couldn't love him more as a father."

Sharon managed a weak smile and petted her daughter's hand. "Don't apologize honey, it's ok", she said and got up and went into the adjourned bathroom to get ready for bed.

Later, when they lay side by side in Sharon's king size bed they both couldn't sleep. It was Lauren who broke the silence first.

"Mom?"

Sharon hummed turning on her side to look at her daughter who mirrored her movement.

"Do you remember when we first spent the night here?"

Sharon hummed "Yes and Ricky cried while you just hugged that baby blue blankie."

"Jack was responsible for that too", Lauren said remembering the time they had sold the house because of Jack's gambling debts. While he hid behind another attempt to get sober in some rehab center. "In retrospective this was the best thing he ever did. Our time here was some of the happiest years in my life."

She smiled at a memory "Do you remember when Uncle Bill stood on the balcony one night with his Winchester and threatened to shoot Jack if he didn't leave?"

Sharon had to smile too. It was when Sharon had finally decided to legally separate. "What I remember is the discussion your father started with Bill about the consequences of Bill pointing a gun at him and how Helga ended it!"

Lauren chuckled. "Was it Hudson Nr. 3 or 4?" Bill always had had Irish Setters and all were named Hudson.

"Nr. 4 and he chased your father all the way down the alley to the main gate", Sharon said slightly amused.

"Jack made life exciting huh", Lauren said and Sharon hummed. Her daughter had proven again that she was able to make her feel better, even if the sadness about Jackson's death wasn't mutual. They exchanged some other more or less funny memories. Sharon provided how Jack had given Rusty those mirror sunglasses when he tried to teach him poker and the both had to laugh. It was almost 4 in morning when they finally fell asleep in a little lighter mood.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay. Here's a short one. I'm working on bringing the whole family and that need's some navigating. What I can tell you so far is that in my universe Sharon has two sisters, who come with family and of course both her of her parents are still alive and some of them will show up for the funeral, along with Ricky.**

„Lauren wake up!"

The young woman blinked „Huh?"

"Come on let's go!" Sharon whispered urgently. Lauren sat up in bed and found it was not quite dawning. "What time is it?"

"Put some clothes on. It's cold outside."

Minutes later when she sleepily followed her mother downstairs she said "You know it against the rules that you turn nuts that's aunt Althea's job", she said reffering to Sharon's twin sister who lived in New York and was bipolar in Lauren's opinion or at least had a personality disorder with histrionic aspects. "What are we doing anyway?" she mumbled pulling her long behind her ear.

"We go riding."

"Ah riding, why didn't I knew? It's perfectly normal after only two or three hours of sleep to get up at dawn to go riding."

Lauren decided to take Naomi, a tall, long legged chestnut mare with a broad breast and calm attitude. Sharon opted for a grey gelding as long legged as Laurens mare but more elegantly built. They didn't bother with saddles which was a good idea, since Lauren and Sharon only wore normal Boots lined with fur, a turtle neck, loop scarf and warm parkas. The air was chilly and their breath steaming, Dew graced the grass as Sharon directed her horse into the wood. Lauren followed shaking her head. Normally her mother was all for security and she didn't even bother to put a helmet on.

Sharon breathed in deeply. When she woke up she felt like she couldn't breathe properly. She felt caged, and she needed to clear her head and stealing away on horseback in the wee hours between night and day seemed a good way to achieve that goal. They rode through the wood and reached a grass field between two patches of forest that was slightly going uphill The grass waved gently with the wind and Sharon stopped in the middle of the grassy plain allowing the wind to play with her hair and Lauren wondered yet again how her mother managed to avoid having hair strands whipped into her face, while Lauren had to pull her hair out of her face frequently. The sun had risen and with it came some warmth, although the wind was still chilly. They had spent the last hour or so in silence and even Lauren felt the calming effect of the early morning ride. Lauren closed up to her mother and allowed the wind to mess up her hair. Sharon looked at her and Lauren noticed just how tired she seemed but her eyes had regained some of their usual sparkle.

"I think we should hurry a little Helga probably has breakfast ready."

When Sharon urged her Horse to canter uphill Lauren called after her "Clearly temporary insane!" and only got a laugh that was carried away on the wind.

Sharon was still laughing at Lauren's complaints on her insane behavior when they entered the kitchen about 20 minutes later. She said to Lauren over her shoulder "I don't know why you complain everything was fine", and ran into someone.

It was a familiar smell and she knew to whom it belonged although all she could see was a broad chest. "Sorry Lieutenant."

Flynn smiled down at her wild hair. "Lieutenant Provenza sent me to bring you up to speed."

"Oh no need to speed her up anymore", Lauren said passing over to the table and sat down, while Sharon took a step back feeling a little awkward.

"Andy brought breakfast", Helga announced breaking the silence threatening to spread and make things uncomfortable. "And if you sit down Sharon you might finally put something in your stomach! Going out riding before breakfast", she grumbled walking over to fill the already vast breakfast table with yet another plate. This one containing the stuff Flynn had brought from the bakery. "Look at Lauren! She pale you can't let the girl do that without breakfast."

"For the record the girl is pale because her heart almost stopped when her irresponsible mother galloped home through the wood."

When everyone looked at Lauren with a quizzical glance she added "We had no saddles!" Sharon smirked "Nothing better than a little adrenaline to get awake", but sat down at the table. Flynn followed suit.

"Lieutenant, what do you have so far?" Sharon asked getting serious again. She wanted that over before Rusty came downstairs.

It was a tricky question, because they didn't have all that much. Provenza had sent him out to the ranch with an "I can't stand your lost puppy look and you aren't good for anything unless you've checked on her. Go, go and say hi from the team."

Now that he had seen her he knew they had to find the jerk. First the murder room wasn't the same without her, second she acted out of character and that scared him somehow.

He sat down and Helga served him a mug of black tea. Lauren sat back and kept silent while the Lieutenant explained their findings so far. Apparently Jack had been able to stay on the court appointed attorneys list and had worked several minor cases that weren't of a nature to have someone kill him. Dr. Morales had been able to make an estimation about time of death. The estimation was concurrent with the call the police had received from Jacks neighbors. Sharon sat stone faced and listened, humming only here and there.

Flynn didn't quite know what to make of that but added "That's a good thing Captain. Now we can set up a timeline and verify your alibi and you can come back."

She smiled sadly. "Of course, after the funeral. Has Dr. Morales said something about when you will release the body?"

He shook his head. "But I suppose once the autopsy is completed you can have the funeral."

He was reminded how difficult police proceedings were for families of victims. That was an aspect you tend to forget working on catching the killer. You couldn't afford to care too much or you'd not be able to do the job. This was different. It hurt to see the Captain so beside herself and it hurt even more that he couldn't do something about it.

**A/N: From now on I'll probably write what happens to the squad and the case and tell what happens on the ranch in each chapter separately, because right now there's not enough Flynn & Provenza here . I always love reviews and I answer to pm's so if you have any suggestions or questions feel free to ask.**


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